Ichabod's Day

Normality returns.................

2011-11-22T22:07:00.001Z

Paston Windmill in Norfolk - came up for sale a few weeks ago for £500,000 - need a lottery win please!

Only now do I feel as if I have returned to a normality (well normality for me anyway!). Both the trials and tribulations of welcoming the new dog into the home, and the mad rush of the new semester have exhausted me and sent me into a parallel universe where the only things in existence were traffic jams, an office, a bed, bunting and a virtual world with which I have been engaging to research, teach, facilitate learning and deliver a 24 hour virtual knowledge exchange for Occupational Therapists around the world together with my esteemed colleagues in OT4OT.

I seem to have a finger in so many pies at the moment that I think I have possibly grown a few more upper limbs - just wish they were functioning so that more tasks could get completed! And whilst I am very pleased that people are beginning to hear of my bunting exploits and orders are slowly arriving - finding the time in the evenings and weekends to make them is challenging - particularly as I seem to spend an average of 2 evenings on skype or in the virtual classroom with PG students or working on a few national/international collaborations with colleagues or delivering a series of masterclass sessions to a small group of UG students on using online social media for professional development- phew if I wasn't so exhausted I might be impressed :-)

Skip and Bruno

Skip the dog - or Mr Moo as he is often called (he really does moo! ........and looks like a cow) has settled in. Still a few rough edges that we are slowly addressing but he is learning slowly - although a stubborn streak often gets in the way. It is the human element of this family that now needs to gain confidence to leave both dogs alone in the house - we have not been out as a couple since July 31st!!! The only time we leave the house together is to walk the dogs or to go the vets. This has been compounded by the fact that when they have been left for a short while whilst gardening or garage work have occurred (not by them!) then a number of things have been chewed including a stair post, sewing "ingredients" and a cushion. A cage has been bought for just such an occassion - but the human element has anthropomorphised(?) to such an extent that caging is rather difficult. Needless to say we didn't have a very restful summer.

This new world that I have been inhabiting for the last 4 months has not allowed for any contact with real world friends or family and even virtual contact has been sporadic - so to you all who expected to hear from me or had hoped to meet up for a social occasion - I apologise - but I am back! Until the chaos that is Xmas, marking and semseter 2 preparation kicks in over the next few weeks.

A new addition...........

2011-08-31T13:26:00.001+01:00

We have a new addition to our family .....and I am exhausted!! I have spent the last three weeks:
a) placating a five year old who isn't keen on sharing his toys
b) using eyes in the back of my head to make sure that the "new addition" was where he should be and not where he shouldn't be
c) trying to second guess signals - is he hungry? Does he need to pee? Can he understand what I am saying
d) listening to others who are keen to give advice - however the often conflicting advice has made things even more difficult to points where I have felt completely impotent and deskilled.

Needless to say I have spent the last three weeks exhausted, guilty, frustrated, anxious and constantly checking for reassurance. Questions constantly run through my mind:
a) are we being fair to the 5 year old?
b) have we done the right thing?
c) will we ever be able to leave the house together as a couple ever again?

They tell me that this is exactly what mothers of new babies go through - I wouldn't know - our new addition is a dog (as is the five year old!).
His name is Skip, he is a twelve month old Staffy and is a rescue dog from the local Dogs Home. Whilst we have discussed getting another dog for about a year now, and always come to the conclusion that we do not have the space, the time, the energy to committ to another dog - but we went and got one anyway.
So far he has learned his name, learned to sit for food/treats and mostly learned to ask to go outside for necessary functions. He has added scratches to the front door started by our other dog, jumped the wall of the front garden into the main road (:-0) and disgruntled many of the wild birds who come every morning to be fed (mostly by eating the food I put out).
Apart from that he is one of the most good natured, placid and loving dogs I have known -and I predict will be a great addition to our pack!
Watch this space!!

Tradition!!!!!!

2011-05-09T15:29:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was a wet and windy Sunday so I decided to do very little at all and had a bit of a film fest. The History of Mr Polly - a great John Mills black and white film, Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats and then I watched Fiddler on the Roof . I had seen this as a young teenager and remembering that it was one of the only musicals I didn't like, but it was a wet Sunday and I did have an easter egg to finish and needed a film to finish the trilogy before tea. Now, for those of you not familiar with the film I copy here the synopsis from the link above " In pre-revolutionary Russia, a poor Jewish peasant must contend with marrying off his three daughters while antisemitic sentiment threatens his home." So, not many laughs there then! However...............

I was glued to the TV from start to finish - and I will admit to the odd tear (and maybe a sob or two!) as the film progressed. What I realised is that as a young teenager I possibly identified with the daughters in the film, and not being enough romance in it clearly decided it was a boring film. Now older, I am much able to put the film into context both socially, politically and from the point of view of the father who tries through the film to stick with the traditions of his faith, his generation and his culture whilst constantly met with change (both socio-political and generational). He meets each problem the same, denial, anger, reflection and then compromise and states at one time " what is tradition? Our ways were new once".

I often describe myself as a tradionalist, but what does that really mean I wonder? Wikipedia defines as "A tradition is a ritual, belief or object passed down within a society, still maintained in the present, with origins in the past.^[1]^[2]"

^{I am comforted to have many family traditions that have been passed through the generations (a watch for your 10th birthday, a signet ring for your 17th birthday and the secret recipe for Harvo when you are 21! to name a few). I also like to engage in the traditions of Easter - no meat on Good Friday springs to mind as a recent ritual. I like to know that certain things I do have origins in the past but I realise from watching the film that many of my traditions focus on material things.}^{At the end of the film, the whole village were displaced and all had to move on to other places. They packed up what they could with an air of resignation, leaving behind many items of furniture and even livestock and yet keeping their strong sense of self and community through their traditions - I wonder if I would be as resolute faced with similar circumstances - maybe I could learn of few things from this film?}

Of Ghosties and Ghoulies and Things that go Bump in the Night

2011-04-28T17:48:00.000+01:00

As a child I frequently suffered with night terrors. Periods of waking through the night with inexplicable intense fear and dread which led me to scream out until pacified. My parents, after a while, subscribed to the "she'll grow out of it - just leave her to it" philosophy, leaving my older sister, with whom I shared a room, free reign to exacerbate the fear even further by telling me such things as the bogeyman lived in the airing cupboard in our bedroom! I can't blame all of it entirely on her, I will admit to an interest in, even a fascination (possibly macabre) for the supernatural from a very young age. I read innumerable ghost stories, loved Tom's Midnight Garden and would sit for hours in my Grandad's shed listening to the older children in the neighbourhood relating ghost stories. During daylight hours these were all fascinating and would spur my imagination - which would return with a vengeance in the dark hours before the dawn and scare me to death.
I have never quite left this fascination behind but now have a healthy open mind about such things. I believe in ghosts, I believe that there is energy around us that cannot be rationally explained by the scientific amongst us. Some of that may of course be wishful thinking that there is more after this life - but I have had experiences and been in situations that have led me to this belief.
So, when the chance came to engage in a Ghost Hunt recently at Bygone Times I couldn't say no. The experience promised "a ghost hunting night to remember" so Dad and I arrived in good time. I was unsure what to expect and wondered if a return of my childhood fears may return - stating that if I got scared I may go back and sit in the car - then realising that I would be on my own in the dark - so quickly gave up on that idea!
Once inside we were given food and drink and introduced to the team: a TV minor celebrity paranormal expert, a medium, an historian and a Romany witch. We started with a talk on ghosts and what this term may mean. Apparently there are three stages of manisfestation, orbs (which are rare and not of the kind seen on digital photographs and so beloved of Derek Acorah!), vortex and then full visual (I think). In fact there were quite a few derogatory comments about TV paranormal investigations (including Most Haunted which I love for its theatre rather than its scientific content).
We were shown some photographs of paranormal incidents that were we assured had been checked by Kodak and the relevant societies and passed as authentic. Very interesting.
We were then split into smaller groups to engage in a number of activities, our first was a tour of the Mill floors with the medium and historian and a number of gadgets measuring temperature and disturbance in environmental stuff (can't remember the exact term). With the aid of a torch and just a few low lights we were taken on a tour and shown areas where there had been "experiences".
Now, those sceptics reading this will easily be able to offer any number of logical explanations to the events that I experienced - all I can say is that I know what it was like - and in the words of the expert - my job is not to convince you either way. There was one point in the tour where I couldn't actually put one foot in front of the other - my legs would just not move - at this point the medium picked up a presence that was hostile to us being there and who identified that he had walking problems (found this out after my experience). Dad and I, whilst splitting from the group slightly, watched as lights flickered on and off at the end of the room and saw a shadow go across the light (there was no-one down that end at all!).
One rather funny experience was in the main room not long after we started the tour. We heard a noise coming from one of the aisles - like a voice over a CB radio or walkie-talkie, very faint but definitely heard by a number of the group. We heard this on a few occasions and each time it was the cause of some excitement. However, at the end of the evening as we were engaged in a silent group circle, it sounded again. "Oh no, it's 1 0'clock" said the voice - it was a novelty alarm clock on one of the stalls in the room (Bygone Times is an old Mill that has been turned into a retail antiques and collectables warehouse). That certainly instilled a bit of reality as we were preparing to leave .
Other activities through the night included a Ouija Board experiment and a Seance (more of a healing circle than a seance).
It was not a scary experience, the team in charge were approachable and "normal" with no intentions of indoctrinating their audience or indeed making interpretations of what was experienced other than to support and engage with us. It was a great evening's entertainment which has made us come away with food for thought bearing in mind I live in a haunted house and opposite a cemetery- fingers crossed my night terrors don't return.........

Who Do You Think You Are........?

2011-02-28T19:35:00.000Z

Just come back from a busy weekend down at the family "pile". Sorry - using rather grand words as have renewed interest in tracing the family tree - a task started by myself and my Dad a few years ago but that has stalled more recently. We decided to treat ourselves to a trip to London to the BBC Who Do You Think You Are exhibition.

As usual, the journey down by train was uneventful with one or two amusing incidents. First announcer sounded as though he was using a loudhailer from outside the train - never did get to hear what he was actually saying! Second announcer I can only describe as "camp with menace" in fact I have never heard the word "pannini" uttered with such disdain!! Third announcement was interrupted by loud female voice "hope you enjoyed travelling with us" accompanied by much giggling and raucous laughter as she was (a) egged on by her mates and (b)swiftly cut off in her prime from the PA system. Someone obviously had a liquid breakfast!!
Arrived in London to torrential rain - so got taxi to Olympia - and the exhibition. Spent rest of day wandering round the stalls and chatting to others about tracing family trees etc. Lots of things to buy (managed to restrain myself) but also lots of free advice and websites to try - and certainly came away with an eagerness to revisit what we have so far (in fact we have got to a Huguenot ancestor in 1780 on my Mother's side and a possible 1775 ancestor on my Father's side - although this needs a bit more research!).

Journey back uneventful! Then to brother's for usual overdose on Grantham spare ribs - in fact the takeaway have told me to pop in next time to have a lesson in how to cook them! I have lived in many, many places since leaving home (Northampton, London, Dorset, Norfolk and now Lancashire to name a few) and I have never found a chinese takeaway that cooks spare ribs this way, mmmmmmm.

Sunday saw us heading over to Sleaford for lunch with my Godmother and husband - lovely afternoon spent chatting and being amazed again at the power of networking via FaceBook. To cut a long and rather personal story short, Godmother's husband has to have an operation that, together with an existing disability, will leave him temporarily unable to perform basic ADLs (activities of daily living). A quick request to OT colleagues on FaceBook and within an hour I had many responses all helpful and offering realistic and practical solutions. Hurray for FaceBook!!
So, after an enjoyable and productive weekend I return to real life, a house smelling of paint (husband been v. busy whilst I was away!) and a busy week at work.

Can't wait to find some time to begin the family tree research again!!

A New Year's Tale............

2011-01-03T19:14:00.002Z

Well, that's another year over. Another xmas and another new year's eve. Have decided not to make any resolutions this time round - let's be realistic they would be the same as always: be thinner, be healthier, be nicer; and somehow I never manage to achieve them.
This year the festivities have been very quiet - just me and husband- so have had time reflect, relax and generally lounge about. I am often asked why I don't go out on new years eve - with the assumption that I am being bah humbug! So I have decided to share previous experiences which should go some way to illustrating why I now stay in!!

1988 - went to stay with a friend and her partner. They fell out and we ended up walking through the villages of lincolnshire in the snow trying to find where he'd gone. Didn't see in the new year - too busy trying to keep warm.

1989 - went out the night before on a blind date (as it happens this was to be my future husband!). While I was out I was burgled. New year's eve spent with no tv and no heat (had also had a fire the week before xmas so had no heating).

1990 - invited to spend the evening and stay over with husband's boss and his wife. Just sat down for a lovely meal and a couple of friends of the boss arrived unannounced with their sleeping bags! This caused much tension between boss and wife - very uncomfortable evening in the cross fire of bickering. (They split up not long after)

1991 - first year up north! Was invited to a party. Arrived at 9pm - the house was in darkness - waited in car for about half an hour - still no sign of anyone so went home. Apparently they'd decided to go to the pub until midnight!! Saw new year in on our own.

1992 - husband's relatives came to stay. Decided at last minute to try to go out for something to eat. Fat chance!!! Couldn't get in anywhere - even MacDonalds was closed. Ended up back at home eating bacon and eggs at 10pm.

1993 - Have no memory of this year at all - must have been bad!!!

1994 - Went out for Indian meal with friends. One friend decided that don't like indian but ate it anyway - then threw up in toilets. Another friend threw up in the car park. Managed to get home for midnight whereby one friend fell asleep, one friend in tears missing her boyfriend - hmmmm.

1995 - stayed in !!!! and every year since!!!!

Happy New Year everyone. I wonder what 2011 will bring? Oh, just in case you were wondering - the diaries have been put away now - no more sharing of experiences - a limited time only availability. I will just say - the welsh boy never wrote back - sob!!

So who says I don't do culture..........

2010-12-01T11:45:00.001Z

I am not known for my cultured ways - in fact my plebian tendencies have been well documented (believing that there is "too much dancing" in Swan Lake and looking aghast at any food which does not have the look of either comfort or nursery food!). However, this weekend I found myself at the MEN arena (as high up as you can get without having a nosebleed!) listening to the Halle Orchestra and the Leeds Festival Chorus in a Classical Spectacular. What a treat. The programme, the acoustics and the space gave rise to a thoroughly great evening, rounded off with some magnificent pyrotechnic displays, gun salutes and cannon fire - which, by the way made us jump so much we could almost hang from the lighting rigs! All this was of course enhanced by good company and the fact that we treated ourselves to a taxi door to door (£50!!!!) well - it was snowy!

All this reminded me of the last time I was at the MEN and I realised that I hadn't shared this experience with you - so before you can feel cheated I must just tell you the highlights.
Regular readers may remember that earlier this year I had a run in with a Grantham stair sprite and it was thought for a while that I had broken my ankle. Whilst I was immobilised for a few days my concerns were (in this order...) my tickets to see Cesar Milan , how I was going to get home, work.
First things first - my immediate task was to call the MEN and arrange for different seats that would accommodate a wheelchair - no problem, easily sorted just report to customer services on the night and they will direct us to the correct bay. Hmmm thought we might be in for a treat with seats close to the stage and our beloved Cesar. Very excited!

As it transpires, I had not broken my ankle - it was an old break ( and one that I had never known had happened!) so I was stripped of my plaster, crutches taken away and was left with a flimsy bit of tubigrip. Amongst the euphoria of getting my mobility back I quickly realised that this had implications for Cesar. I couldn't phone again as they'd given my old seats away - and anyway our new seats could be much better. So, we hatched a plan. .....

On the night of the show I was found wearing a hastily made lower leg splint and seated in a borrowed wheelchair (in my defense my mobility was still rather limited!!!). Once the doors opened (and we seemed to be waiting ages - my foot was freezing!!!!) we were ushered in ahead of the crowds feeling v. special. Directed to customer services, given our new tickets and found our places -

as far back from the stage as it is possible to go and v. high up!! Teach us to be special. Still, at least we had plenty of room - and then the other places started to fill, some in wheelchairs, some on crutches, began to feel a bit of a fraud! As the show was about to begin a group of 3 women joined us one of which possibly had a sprained ankle, they sat down and began moaning in very loud voices about how "disgusting" it was (think they meant being in a collective with the "disabled") and how they'd paid for good seats etc. Resisted urge to demonstrate miraculous recovery and walk up to them with a therapeutic slap! Anyway eventually they became resigned to their fate.
The show began, Cesar arrived on stage and then one of said women in a voice that could be heard 3 fields away and more shouted "we love you Cesar", audience tittered, Cesar looked around, "we're over 'ere, in the DISABLED bay"....... audience as one turned and looked - straight at me...............OMG how embarasing! Can laugh about it now - just hope the show (which was absolutely mesmorising by the way) wasn't being taped for dvd.

So. back to the present day , Classical Spectacular and then the lastest Harry Potter film... a great weekend and a bit of culture for my soul.....

Back by popular demand.....

2010-10-17T10:36:00.000+01:00

A number of you have been asking where my diary has gone and whether the boy ever wrote back - apologies I have been rather tied up of late but I have dug out my diaries again for the next installment.
Just a quick note to those of you coming into these as a new reader - these are diary extracts from a 17 year old A'level student. Names have been changed to preserve a semblance of anonymity - but you know who you are!!!!

Tuesday December 11th 1979

Well I'm back again. The boy I wrote to hasn't written back yet (sob!) but there's still hope yet. Well. I have another exciting instalment of my life ready to tell.

As usual I'll start off from the previous date. Tuesday I had a play reading for St Peter's Hill Players. They want me to play Emma in The Edge of Darkness but I decided I couldn't do it coz it required too much involvement and I wouldn't have been able to give my best so I said no.

Thursday it was belinda's birthday and a whole group of us went to Nottingham. It was quite good, the dance floor was very small, there were no nice lads and my shoe broke but apart from that we enjoyed being somewhere different. Got to bed at 3am.

Friday Robin got confirmed so we went to his confirmation and then later B took me and SJ to Ashby. Danced with a guy who said he'd meet me in the After 8 in 2 weeks time if I wanted to see him again. I doubt whether I shall go coz for all I know he could be a rapist or something so am not going to chance it on my own!

Stayed in Saturday.

Sunday went to see Warriors at Oakham - brilliant film then afterwards we went to the RoadHog for chips and coffee. B made another pass at me so I told him I wanted to be just friends - I think he finaly got the message. But I felt so rotten saying it coz he's been so kind. Besides if Steve writes back something might develop from that (daren't tell SJ as she'd tell me not to be so stupid! But he did seem to really like me)

Monday after tea I went up to Carole's for a few hours and did some homework and talked until dad came to pick me up. Tonight it was her birthday so we all went down the chinese to celebrate with a meal. So at the moment I'm really full up. Anyway - keep your fingers crossed for a letter soon!!?!

Another connection..................

2010-09-12T13:27:00.000+01:00

Monday December 3rd 1979

I've got loads to catch up on as I've been so busy with my spanish o'level and going out places etc.......
The play finished (that I was doing coffee for) and then the party after. We had great fun and a good old knees up. Then we decided that midnight was too early to go home so after loads of suggestions me and SJ ended up at CB's house for coffee. We weren't allowed to make any noise as his parents were in bed but he put on a Monty Python LP and it was really hard trying hard not to laugh loud.
Sunday we had a rehearsal for our group - it was absolutely rubbish, me and SJ were tired so we left early and had an argument on the way home mostly about boys.
The next friday (23rd Nov) we had our 6th form disco. We raised £264 from 80p a ticket so you can imagine how packed it was. It was quite good really except that the police came about half way through to check on licensing etc which upset S coz she organised the disco and they took her name and address with a few others.
BT asked me out but I refused coz I was doing some spanish revision. Had first half of spansih o'level on weds. Not too bad, but the comprehension was hard. Thursday Mum had a craft party and then afterwards SJ and me went down the Beehive. When we got home Maureen and Nev were there and we all had a chinese meal.
Met this Welsh boy from marine college at Ashby, asked me to write to him- so I have.
Today had 2nd half of spanish o'level which again wasn't too bad but the dictation was hard. Got my oral tomorrow which am not looking forward to..........

The girl in the diary...................

2010-08-27T12:44:00.000+01:00

Through most of my life I have considered myself to be a rather private person. I overcame a level of shyness as a young teenager which still occasionally surfaces today in certain circumstances. I wonder why then that I have recently taken to exposing more and more of my life to the world? My diary extracts and recently my professional portfolio are all in arenas that invite public scrutiny and comment.
A month or so ago my Dad gave me a suitcase that belonged to my Mum in which she had ferreted away momentoes and souvenirs that were important to her during her lifetime. I knew of its existance but was never allowed to look through the things - Mum always saying "you can look when I've gone". Inside were a treasure trove of letters, cards and a couple of dairies covering the year she met my Dad and the year they got engaged.
I hadn't realised she had kept diairies, and it is this discovery that sent me to dig out my own (which I have begun to share here). On reading these I realise that they were written (in part) as a dialogue with a future reader (my later ones give advice on all sorts of things to an imagined daughter), and not being in a position to have any children I think I may have wondered who might be interested after I'm "gone". Please don't think I am being maudlin - my intention is not to court pity - but maybe to help myself understand why I now feel the need to have a voice in the world! I have also had great fun reconnecting with the girl in the diaries and her world of innocence and self-centredness.

Sunday November 11th 1979

Last Sunday we had our first rehearsal for our group. I was ever so nervous but soon got used to it and really enjoyed it. We've got no end of equipment and it sounds quite good really (modesty!!). N came in to help us, he's really good on guitar. We sang I love the Nightlife, Spirit Body and Soul and I Will Survive. Later on me and SJ went down the Beehive. I told SJ that I like N, but on Monday he phoned me up and asked me out and I realised I didn't like him in that way so I made some excuse that I was busy coz I'm doing coffee for the Old Tyme Music Hall by St Peter's Hill players. He phoned again on wednsday and thursday and I said I couldn't see him so I think he got the message. SJ thought it was really sweet of him.

I've been really depressed at school coz Sue's been really bitchy. Whatever I've said she's put me down and tried to make me look small. Everyone says it's coz she's jealous, but even if she is there's no need to be like that, so at the moment I'm steering clear of her as much as I can.

Oh, by the way, I was walking to the play the other night and this car beeped at me - it was Matt - I don't fancy him anymore I don't think.

Anyway, Saturday at the play this lady came up to me and asked if I'd take the lead part in their next play so I've got to read through the script and let her know (I might become famous yet!).

Went to Rachel's party - not many people there but it was good - I'd been to Nottingham shopping with Mum and bough a shawl and new shoes. Brian told us that we already have a booking in March at the Guildhall (help!!). Barry gave us a lift home then asked me out. I told him I was too busy but I was really embarrased as he's such a nice person I don;t want to hurt him but I couldn't go out with him. The worst thing is SJ's persuaded him to take us to Ashby next week. So I'm in a right mess.......

The next installment..........................

2010-08-24T10:48:00.000+01:00

The latest Diary excerpt - again names have been changed to protect the innocent:

Friday November 2nd 1979

Back again, have been too busy to write before. Saturday night me and SJ went down the Beehive. Terry phoned up and I told him I couldn't go out coz SJ was here but said we might go down to the Beehive. When we got there him and Matt were there. At first they didn't speak. Then Terry came over and Matt joined us a bit later. They didn't have anything to say so me and SJ went down the chinese and Jimmy asked SJ out - but she said no, ahhh!
Sunday morning SJ went home coz she felt ill. But before she went Brian and Steve came up to see if she'd sing in their new group she said she'd think about it. Me and Robin (brother) went to Auntie's for dinner and we had to walk there and back coz the buses didn't come! Mum and Dad were quite late home. They brought me a sweatshirt, a keyring and some slides.
Was off school again Tuesday and Wednesday then Tuesday night Brian came round and asked me to sing for them as well. I finally agreed and spent most of the night arranging things on the phone with SJ.
Tonight we have just been to Nottingham to see Hamlet with the school - it was really good and we enjoyed it. Oh! I forgot! Terry phoned on wednesday to ask me out but I couldn't as I've been so busy. he told me he was finishing with Jane. In the end he told me to phone him when I had some spare time but I don't know whether to or not. We'll have to see!?!

Another spell in Norfolk............

2010-08-22T13:35:00.000+01:00

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

Back by Popular Request.......

2010-08-05T12:08:00.000+01:00

Well, you've asked for it, I shall look towards publishing a few entries from my diaries of 1979-80 when I was in sixth form at school and working at Boots as a Saturday Girl.
Jackie commented on my previous post and has really got me thinking,

"This is the process that has made me really think about how I presented to the world then, how I present now, similarities and differences between me and my younger self, and how we consciously and unconsciously distort 'truths' when they are uncomfortable. There is something about putting them in the public arena which gives the process more impact than just re-reading old diaries. Keep on showing your diaries, for our pleasure, and for your own enlightenment!"

I agree that just reading them has begun to change my "truths" and I have begun to think about how me now and me then communicate. By the way - I have changed names to protect the innocent - but you know who you are!!!!

I have selected a 3 day period which seems to clearly demonstrate the flavour of most of the entries!

Saturday March 31st 1979

Boring day at work (as usual). David was on again this week but for the last time as he's left now (hurrah!). Went back to Sue's after work. Dad gave me a lift. Got ready to go out again. Met SJ then went to Beehive to see if Terry and Matt were there. Weren't so went to fetch some chips and walk round the fair being put up. Sue met P and went to after show party. Me and SJ joined them later and really enjoyed ourselves. On the way home this lad tagged himself along with us and was really drunk. He kept going on about how I'd fancy him when h was sober etc and asked me out, said no! Had to give him a goodnight kiss to get rid of him. Yuk!

Monday April 2nd 1979

Got up quite late so were pretty late to school (shame!). I went home in fifth period to fetch some stuff and then at dinner we went down the fair! Good fun. Sue met up with P. Went down again at night. IC was down there (swoon!). I really like him again. He said hello but he didn't stop. Me and SJ followed him and then she saw CB so we followed him for a while. I don't know whether I like IC or Matt now. I fell out of the waltzer car while it was spinning I was really scared and hurt my arm. Andrew walked us home. Night, night

Tuesday April 3rd 1979

Went down the Beehive at dinner. Matt was there. Sue, SJ and me went over and talked to him. P came in to show some photos of the fancy dress. Had a rehearsal then met SJ at 10pm. On the way I passed Terry and Matt and some friends. Me and SJ found them and I went on the parachutes and the waltzers with Matt and SJ with Fez. Terry went so me and SJ followed him to the Blue Ram then went back to MAtt. Went on waltzers with us the went and we stayed on and then went to the Blue Ram to find them but they weren't ther. Walked past Beehive but car gone so went home. I like Matt again!

Pubs at lunchtime from school!! Following boys!!! Staying out late on a school night!! What were we thinking???

Forgotten Memories...........

2010-08-03T19:55:00.003+01:00

OK, so those of you who know me on Facebook will know that I have recently found some of my old diaries and have taken great delight in reading them! OMG!!!

I am now being encouraged to publish some of them in the interests of posterity. Hmmm, I think a bit more editing is necessary before I expose the innocent.
Here is an extract to be going on with...

"Memo on 1978

I think I like this year best of all. I've been out to a lot of places and met no end of nice boys. I shall miss 1978 really and I hope that 1979 will be as much or even more fun."

I was 16 in 1978, this is the first diary of the series that covers my 16/17th years. I realise now that I was obsessed with boys, I was very fickle with my affections, I spent much too much time in pubs and ate an inordinate amount of chinese takeways!!!

The following is a very tame entry - just to ease you into it gradually (reading this I realise very little hs changed - given every opportunity to lounge about and I take it!!

Jan 22nd 1979

"We had the day off school today coz of the NUPE strike so I was meant to be revising for my exam on wednesday but I couldn't be bothered. I got up early and lounged about. I made another thread picture then I decided I'd better show willing so I got out some books, but...........

I did do a bit of Chaucer through. Mum and dad were out tonight so I had a long bath then washed and trimmed my hair (a bit too short!). Well after a thoroughly boring day I shall go to bed. Goodnight!"

Now, I am aware that publishing entries could be seen as self indulgent - so please let me know if you are interested or not! Please do not worry if you were part of my life during those years - I will anonymise all entries to protect you.

Back from the land of Far Horizons.........................................................

2010-07-19T13:06:00.000+01:00

Ok, have been back to Lincolnshire again this weekend after a 2 day stop off in Derbyshire to carry out my external examiner role at the University of Derby. It has been well documented on facebook - but suffice to say that my plebian tendencies were very much to the fore as I sat alone in the v. posh hotel dining room. Had hoped to be inconspicuous - but ended up being the ONLY person in a huge white, pristine dining room. Waiter couldn't have been any more "waiting" and was there to second guess my every whim. Apparently I now qualify for the term "madam" - hmm not sure too happy about that!
Sitting alone with my book (wish now that I had taken some classic or mighty tome - instead was the latest Maeve Binchy!) I was presented with a goat's cheese bonbon served on a china spoon and a bed of crushed tomato, "compliments of the house, madam" (hate goat's cheese but waiter was so pleased with himself and waited for my reaction so had to feign delight!). I ordered water which was presented for me to taste and then my glass filled almost with every mouthful (leave me alone!!!!). In the end the food was OK - if minimal/nouvelle cuisine - so quickly retired to me room, donned the trusty kaftan and ate biscuits!
Anyway, duty discharged I wended my way onto Grantham for a weekend with family.
Friday evening found me in Sleaford with my dad, my godmother and her husband, having been invited for fish and chips (never turn down good food!) and a good gossip. Imagine the conversation slowly moving on from ususal catching up news and then suddenly finding that you are in a room of 70 somethings and they are talking about their experiences of flashers - in graphic detail!! (1 as a seemingly perpetual victim of a variety of flashers and 2 as retired police -officers). Not what one might reasonably expect from an innocent friday teatime invitation. Some of the stories I could share with you if my modesty and online reputation were not a barrier!!!!
Saturday, caught up with a bit of shopping in Grantham - if you're reading this anyone from Grantham Council - what have you done to my home town??!! As someone who has a reputation for telling people how they should do their jobs I am close to writing an open letter to the Grantham Journal to point out where they are going wrong! Traffic, the market, cultural and historial landmarks - all are a complete shambles!!
Anyway - enough of my ranting - Saturday evening was spent with brother and family (overdosing on the usual chinese spare ribs I have to have whenever I visit) - and a good hour's entertainment passed watching 3 teenage boys on turd patrol (clearning dog-poo from the lawn). The sounds and sights of shear disgust eminating from said boys was a delight - followed eventually by the inevitable competitions as to who had collected the most/ had the smelliest etc. All watched through the glass of a (very strong!!!) stawberry daiquiri.

After a spot of gardening on Sunday, Dad and I went out to lunch - very old restaurant called Catlins where Grantham gingerbread was first made, a quick look around the antique shop and then headed home leaving the land of the far horizons behind me for another time.

Of taxis, trains and automobiles............................

2010-06-21T11:09:00.003+01:00

I seem to have spent the majority of my weekend in a variety of tin boxes, in some cases an enjoyable experience and in others - definitely NOT enjoyable.
It all started when I decided to visit Grantham again for Dad's birthday and Father's Day. Now, remembering my last experience of visiting resulted in my "breaking" my ankle - maybe I should have been more wary!
Anyway, did what I needed to do at work, chaired an examboard and then left at lunchtime to beat the traffic. Ha!

Tin Box #1: My car. Pootling along, M62 busy but not too bad - ipod on shuffle playing bizarre combinations of Mario Lanza, Sweet, Carpenters and Thin Lizzy - to name a few (is my taste eclectic or just plain mad?), sun shining, stomach anticipating a stop at a Little Chef, all was well with the world. Then, as I joined the A1 - they closed it!! Spent the next 3 hours sandwiched between lorries, white van men (out of their vehicles and constantly bemoaning the fact that they might miss the England game that night (by all accounts they needn't have bothered!) and a ferrari (so I was in good company!). Didn't want to play ipod as

no charger in car, so spent the time people watching, gazing into space and occasionally phoning husband for sympathy (ha! very little forthcoming just the usual lecture about the state of the country blah blah blah!!!).
Finally made it to Grantham 5 and half hours after setting off on a 2 hour journey!
After a lovely birthday meal and evening that night, we had a trip planned to spend the day in York being tourist.

Tin box #2: taxi to the train station. Station approximately 2 miles from Dad's so can't have been in the taxi more that 10 minutes - but in that time I learned practically all there was to know about the driver - plays church organ in about 10 local churches (not at the same time obviously!), is an electronics engineer, only drives in his spare time, comes from Yorkshire.......... was exhausted by the time we reached the station!

Tin box #3: train to York. Packed! Hadn't booked seats! Managed to find 2 together and spent most of the hour long journey gazing out the window at the beautiful countryside. Announcer in train rather amusing - (when you read this take a big breath and then speak on the breath release as though you are sooo bored with saying it) "Please check that you have all your belongings with you as you leave the train".
Arrived in York and decided to start as we meant to go on so:

Tin box #4: City Tours Bus. Decided to brave the threat of rain and sit on the top deck. On the first bus was a live guide commenting on various land marks and snippets of local information and gossip. As we got to the Minster we noticed crowds gathering so got off to watch the Yorkshire Regiment Freedom Parade. Very stirring.

The next few hours were spent eating, drinking and walking taking in such sights as The Shambles, Betty's Tea Rooms and other tourist areas - leading to the Jorvic Museum for:

Tin Box #5: the ride at the Jorvic Viking Centre This takes you through a simulation of a Viking settlement with the sounds, sights and smells of that era. Had wanted to do this for a number of years and I have to say I was disappointed! Felt very commercial in a "pack em in, throw em out" sort of way.

Tin Box #6: back to the City Tours Bus to finish the tour. Most amusing moment came when cd of guide (very posh lady voice) was switched to live bus driver (not posh and v. yorkshire) as the route had been amended due to gas works. The driver then gave us a commentary on the detour - imagine a thick yourshire accent - "well, not much t'see ere. Sum 'ouses made o'brick wi'garages" (we were travelling through a council estate) "thur's a dog", etc etc -I think it might catch on!

Tin BOx # 7: train back to Grantham. Packed! Again! Spent most of journey next to bloke who spread himself over his seat and mine, reading a lad's mag and sniffing loudly - every 5 seconds - I nearly offered him a tissue! Guard had minor contretemps with a passenger who had got the wrong ticket and made big show of the fact that he had made the announcement before we set off that tickets like his were not accepted on this train. This resulted in him coming over the PA system everytime we stopped repeating at least 3 times in a very martyrd voice "please, please, please note - I repeat please note that tickets stamped "Caledonian" are not accepted on this train".
The general public can be such a trial!!!

The rest of the weekend can be summed up as spending time with family, going out for lunch and then an uneventful journey home (thank goodness) where I now have to swap suitcases and pack for conference in Brighton starting tomorrow.

I am a hospital. Which hospital am I.............??

2010-06-11T20:31:00.000+01:00

I am a hospital - which hospital am I ?........................

I position myself at the furthest point of the borough away from you making you use the busiest thoroughfare ensuring you are late to your appointment.
On your arrival I insist that you live at an address you vacated 20 years ago. When you implore me to check again I will be amazed to find a second set of notes for you - with the correct address - but with a date of birth that ages you 10 years. I will giggle when that is pointed out.
For your entertainment, whilst you wait 45 minutes beyond your appointment time, I will enthrall you with intimate excerpts from the lives of my staff. You will find out what they are doing at the weekend, how their relationships are fareing and what they will be shopping for for tea.
I will adorn my walls with all manner of wall coverings - including striped, dotted and patterened wallpaper, together with the ubiquitous border strip, to trick you into thinking that you are not in a clinical area - but are actually in someone's cosy front room. I will not care that this is a veneer at best and, at worst, a dingy back room that speaks of neglect and abuse.
To take your mind off the wait and the decor I will bombard you with advertisements on a looped tv screen presentation that tells you of all of my many achievements - that we wash our hands, that we have been free of MRSA for 100 days in a row and that our porters walk 7 miles a day (just because the lady loves milktray? ).
Before you exit - whilst I cunningly detain you so that you spend more on the carpark - I will ensure that you are not quick to leave by building sleeping policeman in your path that are so high they would scrape an elephant's wedding tackle.

I am a hospital. Which hospital am I............................????

Of tents, traumas and torrential rain......................

2010-06-01T14:33:00.002+01:00

Ok. So. I may not be a fully paid up, card carrying member of the great outdoors brigade, but I like to think I am close to nature. I feed the birds everyday, I donate on a monthly basis to a number of local and worldwide nature charities. I spent most of my chlidhood in caravans or boats. However, none of this prepared me for a great british bank holiday camping trip to the wilds of Lincolnshire (well, Woodhall Spa is actually quite civilised but doesn't have the same ring to it!).
Followers of the blog may remember that I bought husband (at his request) a tent for his birthday last September and ever since he has been dying to use it.
So, off we go, me, husband, dog Disney forgot to draw (dDftd), brother, sister-in-law, 3 kids and 2 teenagers (Kevin and Perry wannabees) and their dog. We packed car at 5.30am on the friday morning - beds, bedding, stove, table, chairs, food, water carrier, blankets, dog stuff, cooking and eating utensils, "all eventuality" clothing (wellies, fleeces, shorts, flip flops) etc etc etc - car was full and dDftd perched high on back seat in tight spot and, as previously, wondered why it takes so much stuff in order to get back to nature?
Met up with brother and gang and then onto the campsite. Weather blistering hot whilst trying to put up tent (bearing in mind has only been up once before in back garden and took at least 2 hours and a near divorce!). Not too bad a performance as brother on hand to mediate at the important moments (eg when tent peg or mallet appeared to be ready to be launched). Tent was up - hurrah! Tent was up, but not quite right - boo! Tent was rectified but the rest of the weeked was spent tweaking various pegs, ropes and rods - to the point where zip finally broke and canopy got ripped - major trauma!! Has now been gaffe taped to an inch of its life and we can't use one of the doors - ah well - perfect tents are for newbies- we're seasoned now and have the scars to prove it!
First day went well, then came the evening - and the midges and mossies!! Am still finding bites in places I didn't even know midges and mossies could get. Sat around camp covered in scarves and coats from head to foot wafting things about to try to get rid of them - eventually had to go to bed just to get away from the pesky critters!
Bed!! There's another tale! Had taken v. plush airbeds - almost normal height so well off the floor. Unfortunately they needed electricity to blow up - which we managed to nick from an unoccupied site the first day (which subsequently became occupied so beds gradually getting saggier and saggier as weekend wore on as we could get any more air in!). First night they were well blown up- to the point that husband got on and immediately was ricocheted off!! Oh how we laughed! (well I did anyway!).
Now, the toilet and washing scenario I was well prepared for. As I have mentioned I have spent a lot of time in caravans as a child. However, this is what I now realise - as a child it was a novelty to be walking about with towel and wash bag in hand, as a young girl it was a good excuse to wander the long way round to the shower block so that I could pass gorgeous boy's caravan in the vain hope that he might notice me (never did!!). As an adult it is neither fun nor productive, at 5.30am to be wandering through the campsite in kaftan, socks and shoes and looking like you don't fit your face.
Saturday: torrential rain. All Day. Not fun at all. No signal on phone so couldn't even get sympathy from facebook friends. I had the only tent that one could stand up in (all others just small 2 man tents) so all 9!!! of us in and out of my tent all day -threw a bit of a strop and created atmosphere for a while - but had nowhere else to go!! Hair now scraped back as rain made it frizzy and no straighteners, still looking like I don't fit face as had minimal sleep due to bed and the cold. At least midges gone

So, at risk of boring you to death with everything I give you the rest of the highlights:
a) trees at back of tents seemed to house a whole flock of wood pigeons who took great delight in tap dancing on top of tents and gave hours of amusement in activity we named "pigeon slapping" - they really were sitting on the trees and taking it in turns to slap each other with their wings (and Sarah I am not obsessesed with pigeons!!)
b) hailstones the size of golf balls for about 10 minutes on Sunday - managed to shelter in a shop doorway eating an icecream when they arrived - the irony of the british bank holiday!
c) clubhouse entertainment - Gemma Marshall - singer (?) who apparently got through to the top 200 in X factor. Hmmmm.......

d) revisiting Martin - a little village where we used to live in the police station- picture of it now on right (Dad was village bobby - like Heartbeat). I loved this place and even though we left when I was about 6 years of age it has a strong hold on my memory. It was where I started school and where I got my love of nature from!!
e) dDftd was on his best behaviour all weekend - bless!
f) nephew (11yrs) cooking toast for everyone on his own camping stove with his special gadget
g) I heard a cuckoo - a rare sound
h) the lights in the toilet/shower block were motion sensitive/time limited. If you were in there too long the lights went out!! Scary at 4am

So, will we be camping again? Watch this space........................!!

Where is she now.....?

2010-04-19T11:41:00.000+01:00

I have managed over time to carefully construct a self-image of a silver-haired, voluptuous woman of a certain age. Whilst fragile, unless I spend too much time with reflective surfaces, it is an image that serves me well most of the time! This weekend I had a lesson in how others may see me - not the most flattering I can assure you. I had resigned myself, a number of years ago, that I am invisible to anyone under 30 years of age - even though inside I belong to that demographic! I have outwardly started to wear my badges of maturity - feeling I have earned the right not to have to colour my hair for the rest of my life, and I try hard to believe the hype that wrinkles demonstrate how much laughter there has been in my life. With these thoughts in mind I go about my daily business.
On saturday, walking into a boutique that I kinda knew wasn't for me - but I liked a top in the window - I was told in no uncertain terms that there was only one thing in the shop that was for me - "it's only a large but it's generous" !!!! Exit one shattered carefully constructed self -image. After receiving support from my facebook friends I was able to laugh about it (just)!!
Then I came across this photo of a girl - where did she go? Of course this is me at 18 years of age - and I wondered what I would tell her now if I met her:

a) By all means enjoy watching Hollywood movies of the 50s - BUT don't believe that they are what real life is like. Doris Day and Rock Hudson had their own demons just like the rest of us!
b) Long legs and big boobs attract a certain type of male - WISE UP!
c) Drinking pints of cider is not as fun as it seems
d) You started smoking 2 months ago - give up NOW!!!
e) Don't worry so much what others think about you - it's what you think of yourself that really counts
f) Trust your judgement in choosing your friends - you will make fine choices
g) Save money for a rainy day! (maybe I might give her some lottery numbers- is that allowed??)
h) On saturday 17th April 2010- don't go clothes shopping

So, I wonder if I would've listened? What would you tell yourself if you could............

Of Stair Sprites, Hobble goblins and Aliens

2010-03-05T15:03:00.007Z

Is it Murphy's Law that states "anything that can go wrong will go wrong"? I think there should also be a Law that states that misfortune will fall at the most inconvenient of moments - if there isn't one already then I claim this as Ichabod's Law!
This particular time seems to be one of my busiest in the year so far, heavily involved in a research project interviewing participants and analysis of transcripts ready for a first report at the end of the month, developing a resource in Second Life for further research in its educative and practice value within occupational therapy, an invitation to co-author a book chapter, a workshop presentation to plan for the World Federation of OT Congress in Chile (my goodness my best wishes go out to all over there at the moment) and a trip to MEN to see my hero Cesar Millan the Dog Whisperer (not to mention the day job of teaching, marking and planning for the next round of intake for our online MSc).
So.....with all this going on I felt I deserved a long weekend visiting my family in the depths of Lincolnshire, having closeted myself away for so long I was looking forward to relaxing family meals, shopping and maybe an antiques fair or two before returning to the hard slog.

And then the Stair Sprite struck.

Now, for those of you not familiar with this particular being, the Stair Sprite lays in wait usually towards the top of a flight of stairs and either places obstacles on the step, unseen by human eye, moves bannisters a fraction to the left so that human hands cannot reach, or just generally pushes, shoves or twists human feet whilst they are walking downstairs. (It can happen whilst walking upstairs - who hasn't done that? But that is not half so much fun for the Stair Sprite as less damage can be done this way - unless they are an Adept Stair Sprite).

I am now familiar with this Sprite, we have met on numerous occasions - the last important encounter was 2 years ago when I fractured my coccyx and 2 of my fingers! Anyway on this occasion I encountered the Sprite on the last few steps, slipped and twisted my foot underneath me as I fell. OUCH!! Dad was there to administer first aid and TLC (served his National Service in the Medical Corps in Korea) and I was duly led, hopping and whimpering, to the sofa, foot raised and a bag of frozen veg placed as a cold compress on my ankle - which had begun to swell with magical proportions.
To cut a very long story short -not being one particularly struck overall with hospitals - I convinced everyone it was a sprain and therefore didn't need to go - also knew that would be there ages and would have to forego Chinese Spare Ribs for tea (can only get these in Grantham and who knew when I would be back again!). Sunday arrived, ankle v. painful so (after Sunday lunch!) I agreed to go and have it checked out. Brother dropped myself and sister-in-law off at A&E and was v. impressed with speed in which I was seen. Consultant (v.young!) thought initially that sister-in-law was my daughter - I pointed out his error and he spent the rest of the consultation trying to make up for his gaffe!! Hmmm - didn't do great deal for my already waning self-image. Sent for x-ray and was told it was broken ankle - a chipped bone. Cast was put on, given a pair of crutches and sent home til fracture clinic in 3 days time. Where's an OT when you need one??

Oh no!!! What about Cesar, what about Chile, what about research!!!!!!! Immediately arranged for a relocated seat at Cesar show (priorities you understand!), had to just cross fingers that would be OK to go to Chile (and just hope I had the right insurance as all booked in advance).

Had to go to brother who lives in a bungalow as couldn't manage stairs (how do people do that?) in fact wasn't very good on crutches (how to people do that??) and spent rest of the time being waited on, looked after and occasionally bumping into furniture as I tried to negotatiate my way through the house. Started thinking about what colour I would choose for my next cast, where I could get a raised toilet seat from and why there are no leaflets in A&E from OTs re basic ADL with a cast?? (Why is that??) - I could feel another project coming on..........

Well, would you believe it, at the fracture clinic, the orthopaedic consultant said the break was an old one!!! I have never had treatment for a fracture (in fact as a child I was desperate for one as I wanted a cast - be very, very, very careful what you wish for...).

So when did that happen?? My conclusion (after considering good friend Nivea's suggestion that it was a miracle and should henceforth be known as St "Ichabod" - tempting but no thanks!) - I have been abducted by aliens and been operated and experimented on - that would explain rather a lot of things ........hmmm what do you think????

I've really, really tried.........

2010-01-14T14:40:00.010Z

Ok, I've tried, I've really, really tried.....and I know it's only been 3 days!!!
I can't listen to Chris Evans in the morning - it's not the same, I can't do it and I have tried. How strange that it can have such an impact on my morning routine. Terry was the best:

"They say what is his secret, and it is just that he puts his audience at ease. That's why they want to listen, because they feel better about themselves after they have listened to him. He has made the nation feel at ease with itself and that's a great gift and we owe him a lot for that."Today presenter John Humphrys

I miss hearing what Chuffer Dandridge has been up to, Janet and John stories that made me laugh out loud like an idiot stuck in traffic on the way to work. What shall I listen to now to help me wake up gently, ease me into the day gradually and allow me to smile whilst facing the day ahead? I MISS TERRY.
P.S Just found a great blog detailing Terry's last show. Ahhhhh

Playing Catch up.......................................

2010-01-04T13:36:00.009Z

Can it really be three months since my last posting? I guess the trauma of the kitchen was just too much to take and I have had to lie down in a darkened room with a sponge cake eversince! The kitchen was finished not long after the last post - and with not too much left to report - apart from the fact that since we have had a functioning kitchen we seem to have lost all electricity to the garage! We'll deal with that one in the summer I guess.

Halloween saw the biggest family gathering since Devon 1996!(thereby hangs another tale). We organised a weekend away at Brackenborough Hall near Louth - the only place that was brave enough to let us take 5 dogs (plus 12 adults and 4 kids). What a fantastic place - a farm where we were allowed to take the dogs anywhere in the 50 acres of land. We had a wonderful weekend, walking the dogs, eating, carving pumpkins (I was impressed with mine - above - until my brother pointed out that it looked like a character from the pink panther movies - what was supposed to be a chin does look a bit like a cigarette I guess) , eating and drinking, fancy dress, eating and game playing for prizes - oh and did I mention eating and drinking?? We had such a good time that we are talking about getting together again ( now there's a first!). It would be great to try to get some time in before two of my nieces go travelling for 18 months around Oz and NZ etc.

November went in a flash and seems to have been spent at work -or working even on days off! Two projects that were mooted in the summer both gained momentum during this time and I have been working hard on these. In a nutshell one is a research project for a local pilot site for Foundation Community Trust using narratives to gain patient experiences of their care (with colleague Dr Jackie Taylor) and the other is a smaller project for the VC's iconic media- city larger project and we are looking at the use of Second Life for a number of educational and potential clinical areas (with colleague Sarah Bodell). I'll not post about these here but may use our team blog for anyone interested in keeping up to date with these. During this time I was invited up to Scotland to run a joint workshop with colleague Sarah for the Scottish Student conference. A very impressive attendance at conference and a warm welcome from all the students - together with booking into a hotel overlooking the castle, having afternoon tea and champagne and room service dinner ("I am not rich...... I am not rich......") made this a very enjoyable experience. Driving there we had ipod competitions - who had the cheesiest song (think I won with a little Chas and Dave number), best song to be dumped to (winner takes it all - Abba) , best driving song etc. Coming home was practically in silence - both due to tiredness but extremely bad weather making concentration paramount - thanks Sarah for driving!

Managed to get home to Grantham for a weekend in the midst of all this too - had to be ready with the Xmas parcels for the family - so had to be super organised with xmas shopping. Spent a lovely day with my godmother and then driving back I ended up bringing up the rear of the Grantham Xmas parade (just kind of happened). Felt very important as all spectators wondered who on earth was the mad woman hanging out of the car window taking photos (I wasn't driving!).

December seemed to be one whirlwind of social engagements - and I'm not such a social animal - it would seem that it is obligatory to spend time with every friend just before xmas. Now, having stated I am not a social animal, therefore I don't have that many friends - but it can still be hard fitting everyone in - especially once the dreaded Xmas lurgy kicked in - was floored for at least 3 days where even thought I may have contracted man-flu!

Xmas came and went in a blur - had a lovely break, ate too much, watched too much tv, spent too much in the sales. Oh, and we had snow!!!
I have found time to relax, however, and have rediscovered my trainset and have been adding a few scenic touches to the tracks - until husband decided that it needed some fundamental tweaking and took everything off whilst he started wiring and sticking things!!! He now has subbuteo so am hoping he will leave my toy alone now!

Well, there's a brief catchup here's wishing all of you a Happy and healthy 2010. My resolutions? Eat more sensibly, exercise more thoroughly, gain occupational balance and prioritise those things that are important.
Happy Blogging.............................

10 Lessons learned........

2009-10-01T09:48:00.009+01:00

In theory, the flutter of a butterfly's wings in China could effect weather patterns thousands of miles away. In other words, it is possible that a very small oc curance can produce unpredictable and sometimes drastic results by triggering a series of increasingly significant events.So, in light of this - I wonder what type of butterfly has been producing the chaos that has been my life for about the last month!!

For 6 years we have been debating what to do with the kitchen - it's the last room in the house to be overhauled, but it has always proven too hard to decide. Should we extend? Should we move a window, should we move the garage etc etc....! Always too hard so stick with it - an oven that only cooks food on the left hand side, a hob ignition that bites your finger everytime you try to light it, a cooker hood that belongs in a kitchen 5 times the size and gives you concussion and a sink that only a contor tionist could use - to name a few minor faults!!

Eventually we took the bull by the horns and got a designer in. Ahh bliss... good design, quality products and a reassurance that all I had to do was sit back and watch the kitchen materialise before my very eyes.

Lesson #1: Designers will tell you anything to sell you a kitchen
Lesson#2: Once a control freak always a control freak!
Lesson#3: Whilst kind of knew this really - I live with a ca tastrophiser!

Kitchen agreed, we sat back to wait for the surveyor to check all was well and a date was set for installation.

Surveyor nearly had apoplexy when we said that we wanted to take out the kitchen, plaster, paint and lay a floor before installation. Apparently he'd "never had such conversations with a customer before" and told us we were "worrying unnecessarily". Floors and paintwork could be damaged by installers - I did ask if Laurel and Hardy were coming - he didn't seem to have a sense of humour! His idea of a satisfactory arrangement was for us to take top cupboards out, plaster to the worktop and sit back.
At this point, husband and surveyor started sniping monos yllabically - "new cupboards", "masking tape" etc, I offered tea!

Lesson#4: Don't leave husband alone with surveyor
Lesson #5: Tea doesn't always cure all ills

Surveyor left, we decided it's our kitche n so ripped it out anyway, plastered, painted - but left the floor. Stress levels rising:
Lesson #6: You don't realise how much stuff you have in a kitchen til you come to empty and pack up
Lesson #7: Ensuri ng the order of jobs requires more project management skills than first realised.
Lesson #8: not everything will be delivered - setting off husband's catastrophic tendencies once again

Installation Day arrives - hooray! Electrics illegal - boo! Electrical inspector says "yes" - hooray! External wall wet through - boo! Damp proof people with certificate disappeared - double boo!! New damp proof company prepared to come in and sort it - hooray! Will need to strip off plaster just paid lots of money for -boo! Kitchen fi tter goes home. Stress levels slowly rising, husband's catastrophic tendency vindicated.
Lesson#9: Nothing is ever straightforward
Lesson#10: Husband is annoying when proven right!!

So, to date, I have had a field kitchen in my dining room for nearly a month. The kitchen stuff is piled up in every room in the house. I cook on a camping stove in the garden (when dry - takeaway when wet - horray for rain!). I am washing smalls in the bath (ahh heady memories of the student life...) and will need to go to the launderette soon. A feeling of deja-vue permeates the house as we watch more plaster dry in the race to get it painted before the fitter's return on monday.

Just as I thought nothing else could possibly go wrong I reversed into a bollard and smashed the back of the car - now in garage and I'm on public transport.
Is the butterfly season over yet????

"I am not rich, I am not rich"............

2009-09-09T20:09:00.010+01:00

Over the last few weeks I have been an accidental tourist at 2 ends of the country (well not extreme ends but oop north and daaarn south really). The first occasion was in Manchester - now I know I only live about 12 miles away but I rarely visit - daft really as I could catch the bus into Piccadilly Gardens from right outside my house. Anyway, we were looking for somewhere to go one saturday with Dad and his friend Sandra and being one of the better days of the last few weeks we decided we wanted to be outside ( rather than the Trafford Centre). So, duly caught the bus and joined the hordes. Actually we had a lovely day. We walked to Selfridges and whilst looking round the food hall decided to have lunch at the Champagne Bar (and pretend to be sophisticated). We then went outside and went for a trip on the Manchester Eye (like London but smaller!). A quick stop at Hotel Chocolat, a walk round the farmer's market and time spent watching children run in and out of the water feature at Piccadilly Gardens and the day was complete. I felt like a proper tourist.

Then, at the end of last week we were presenting the final milestone for the Yo-Yo Consultancies project we have been working on with COT in London. Caught an early train to make sure we arrived on time - and booked ourselves into an hotel to make the most of the trip and have a bit of sightseeing before coming home ( oh and maybe a bit of shopping!). Friend and business partner had been bemoaning "fatness" for a few weeks (she's not!) so trying to point out the error of her ways I pointed out that a pigeon nearby was fat - she was not! Didn't take too kindly to inferred suggestion that she was like a pigeon and continued to name and shame me on Facebook whilst I was unable to defend self being without internet access ( we don't all have iPhones!!).
Presentation duly delivered and complete we hailed a taxi (a very liberating experience) - business partner doesn't do public transport or underground- to take us to the hotel. Interestingly we booked hotel on the internet from a "lucky dip" experience, ie you agree to not know which hotel you're booking and they promise to give you a good deal on a decent hotel.
Of course we knew finally before we got there and it was The Cumberland near Marble Arch. Gary Rhodes' restaurant is attached to it - but the menu was slightly bizarre. This time it was me being "quirky" not liking strange combinations of food eg artichoke brazed in snail juice etc etc (not that that was on the menu but it might have well have been).
Anyway, dumped bags in room ( v posh) then went down to bar for celebration drink - glass of champagne and Tequila Sunrise and 2 sandwiches - £51!!!! Ah well - we were celebrating the end of the project.
Went for a brief walk down Oxford Street/Road - never sure which is which and ended up having a make-over in Selfridges - and then buying makeup which I didn't need - but does seem very nice. Chinese meal for dinner then back to hotel for nightcap and off to bed - exhausted.
After checking out next day walked through Hyde Park - really lovely actually - although Speaker's Corner was closed - did suggest maybe we should just start a speech on something but wasn't particularly well received. Tried to find the Diana memorial - followed signs until "friend" made us take a detour daring me to ask two oncoming policemen if I could take their photo! Didn't take up the dare and was branded a wuss! Anyway the detour meant that we got lost and must have walked past memorial - decided we weren't that bothered and sat watching the activity on the Serpentine for a while. Did suggest a pedalo - but was told of an incident from childhood involving boats and water that had scarred for life - so that was declined too.
Walked through towards Knightsbridge to the V&A museum. Intended to take in culture! I can confess that said culture consisted of paddling in the pool in the courtyard, drinking coffee, visiting the gift shop, looking round a temporary exhibit on fairy tales as concept furniture (I think!) - didn't get it - (am a philistine as has been proven already with my ballet experience!). Then looked round fashion through the ages, decided we were possibly hungry and weren't that interested in looking at anything else (both philistines by this point).
Having looked in the V&A food hall - stunning - we decided that we weren't that hungry yet and so walked down to Harrods. Now by this time my mantra had become "I am not rich, I am not rich!" and asking said friend to remind me occasionally of this fact having become infatuated with living the high life!
Harrods tea room was the next stop - and I had a cake I can't remember the name of but bloomin' gorgeous. Hailed a taxi to go to Selfridges on Oxford Street/Road as the taxi arrived the doorman came to open the door and welcome us to the store (" I am not rich, I am not rich").
We were soon in a taxi heading for the station to await the train home. I can promise you that maybe four conversations only were held from about 5pm to 8pm when we arrived back in Manchester - we were completely shattered - but in a good way!!!

Beer bongs and surprises............

2009-08-25T22:29:00.004+01:00

OK, here goes, have calmed down enough know to not exactly laugh about things - but at least to put them into perspective. Step-son was charged with house-sitting whilst we were on holiday. Trust was given for him to look after the house, feed the birds, water the plants etc and in return he was left a fridge/freezer full of food, a crate of beer, comfort and access to equipment to work on his music production. What could be better - he gets a retreat away from his siblings, peace and quiet etc and we get peace of mind knowing that the house is safe!!!

Oh dear!!!!

Returned home a day earlier than expected due to mother-in-law being poorly. OMG! It wasn't so much the state of the house (4 black bin bags of rubbish in the kitchen, a floor that would rival super glue in its adhesiveness, 6 x 2 litre bottles of sherry - empty!) that aroused suspicion - what first drew our attention to the fact that all may not be well was a tube of superglue - obviously purchased in our absence. What had needed to be fixed I wondered? A casual request found that a cheap garden ornament had "got broken somehow".
"Anything else I should know about" I innocently asked. Noooo, only the clock. Apparently the pendulum and mechanism of my favourite antique clock had simply jumped off the wall - can't think how that may have happened. Began to get a bit upset at this point.
Over the next 24 hours a catalogue of "finds" began to give a clear picture of what may have gone on in our absence including:
- broken things (wine glass, lantern from our wedding)
- missing sheet found behind a chair in the living room - muddy
- girl's shoe found under my bed!
- later followed by girl's top, jogger bottoms and even bits of makeup
- footprint up the fireplace
(and too many more to mention!)
Lastly I found a Beer bong under the spare bed - I only know it was called that as it had a great bit label on it - I may not have lead a completely sheltered life - but I have never seen one of these. A big funnel with attached hose and a tap at the end of the hose. Use your imagination!
Careful questioning using all my skills of open ended questions and counselling techniques managed to winkle out that a party had occurred not 12 hours after we left!!
Now, I agree that in my youth I may have done similar things to my parents when they went away - but I don't remember such blatant disrespect of someone's home. (Oh yes - apart from that time the water came through the ceiling- a whole other story!).
Needless to say things are a bit strained at the moment .................

Five Go Mad In Norfolk........

2009-08-17T18:11:00.009+01:00

(well 6 and a dog actually!).

After the success of last year we decided to go ahead and book another holiday together in norfolk - this time in Holt. The dog disney forgot to draw (aka Bruno) was back to full strength after the disaster at the beginning of last year's hols, weather was forecast to be a good week - what could go wrong?

Well this year - Intrepid Cliff Boy injured his back on a mission (a run in with the Wii personal trainer) putting paid to any further plans to scale the cliffs of Norfolk, then ICB's car wouldn't start on the morning of the journey down. However, these problems were not insurmountable, so 4 adults, 2 kids and 1 dog took off for an adventure (of course remembering to pack heaps of tomatoes and lashings of ginger beer!).
Arrived at the rented house - omg! Such opulence for a holiday let - we were blown away with it all - stunning. Rooms large enough to find a quiet place to read, daydream, converse. A dining room that wouldn't have been out of place in upstairs/downstairs and a garden that we hardly moved from all week. Bruno was in his element and became attached to a tennis ball (aka Wilson - as in "Castaway" with Tom Hanks) that he expected to be thrown any time day or night -even took it to bed with him.
And the bedrooms ...well ... 4 poster beds, huuugee rooms with fireplaces, antique furniture etc.
You could say we were well and truly spoilt.
Needless to say the rest of the holiday can be summarised as: cooked breakfasts, sun, reading, shopping, steam trains, eating, tequila sunrises, beer, trivial pursuits, ball games, campari and basically being out and out "grockles" -- fantastic. Oh, and I even bought my first piece of "proper" art from a gallery in Holt - feel like a grown up now.
Shame it had to end - have now returned with my usual wistfulness and wanting to move back to Norfolk post-haste. Ah well - here's to next year....

PS the return home is worthy of it's own blogpost - will write more when I have calmed down and can laugh about it!!! Watch this space.............

Busy doing nothing lalalalalala..............

2009-08-06T21:46:00.005+01:00

Ok, one week into a three week holiday, had major plans have actually done very little. Have had late nights - I'd forgotten what it was like to stay up late - very decadent!! Made better by the fact that I have no alarm call in the morning. I have slept in, read in bed, watched TV in bed (without being ill!!!). I have "pottered" - I love pottering - mooching about the house doing "stuff". I've cleaned my jewelry, sorted out the photos in the photo frames. I've been out for lunch and even breakfast. I will admit to opening work emails every day - but tried very hard not to respond.
The best thing is that the weather appears to be picking up - hurrah! Had a lovely walk around Pennington Flash and then tonight taking Bruno for a walk the sunset was stunning - a sign of days to come I hope as I continue my holiday.
I intend to continue in the same vein as before - with some time away in Norfolk too - beach walks, shopping in Norwich, might even do a spot of seal watching- the time is my own!

The Rain Making Machine

2009-07-30T09:43:00.003+01:00

OK, so we bought a tent!! After years of debating whether we should get a campervan, or a static caravan and always deciding that (a) we had better ways to spend money we don't have and (b) we wouldn't use them anyway cos by the time the weekend comes around there are always chores to do around the house and we are too tired from working all week - we stopped talking about it.
Anyway, husband decided out of the blue that he wanted a tent for his upcoming birthday.
Duly researched best ones, spent a fortune on all the bits - how come you need to much stuff to get back to nature??
And, apologies everyone, but it's rained eversince!! We haven't had chance to go anywhere in it yet. We did manage to get it up in the back garden at the weekend (well saturday didn't rain at least) and what the "instructions" (hardly!) said would take 15 minutes took us an hour and a half and a near divorce.
Once it's up it's quite exciting to think that we could actually live and sleep in it away from it all - well actually not exactly "all" have told husband will not camp in rain, will only cook breakfasts and need facilities close by (loos, showers and pub!). Roll on some summer weather and we can use it - stay tuned for our first foray into camping.

Am writing this as a thunderstorm and buckets of rain are fighting each other to be the centre of attention. Looking outside I had to take this photo - birds are not daft are they?

Of fond hellos and poignant goodbyes.....

2009-06-29T21:35:00.007+01:00

What a weekend - full of high and lows. I said goodbye to a special person on friday, not sure of the correct term - ex brother-in-law probably. My sister's first husband and the father of my two eldest nieces died aged 52 from cancer and his funeral was on friday. As with all complicated family dynamics, I lost touch with him when he and my sister divorced, but kept up with his life through the girls. My memories of him are those of a teenager and young adult where he patiently allowed my to go out with him and my sister on dates, picked me up from college at weekends to take me home for a visit and entertained me and various boyfriends over the years as I tried to be a "grown-up". I wanted to go to the funeral - to say goodbye and to support the girls through this - but I found it more emotional that I expected to (should have taken a tissue - one was discretely handed to me from the row behind!). It was a humanist ceremony and woodland burial - very special, but sad none the less.

Then a few hours later I was driving to Norwich to attend a reunion - with some feelings of trepidation I can tell you. The event was to mark 25 years of the opening of the Norvic Clinic - where I was the occupational therapist for 6 years. I hadn't seen many of the gang for about 19 years and wasn't sure what to expect.
I needn't have worried - although I will admit to stopping the car on route from the hotel to the pub just to give my nerves time to calm abit - didn't want to arrive looking too much like a terrified lobster!
Spent friday evening wandering through Norwich, taking a few photos and then having a meal in one of my most favourite restaurants ever - T h e Waffle House - sat like Billy -no-mates at a "table for one" but at least I did get a table quite quickly.

Saturday morning did a bit of browsing through my fave shops - Brambles, Beaujangles and Head in the Clouds, then back to get ready. Brought lots of outfits - trying to find the one that made me look 3 stone lighter and 20 years younger whilst looking cool, calm and collected. Bit of a non starter - was never going to happen so settled for something I felt comfortable in!

Anyway - once there it felt like I'd never been away - conversations were flowing, teasing, moaning about the politics of the place - all was though I'd never left.

Someone said on my facebook status "It was a fantastic gathering. Trouble is you don't realise the feelings and the bond that was amongst us until you move away and then return" and I totally agree. I came away feeling like I'd had a good time but also that a piece of me had been missing that I hadn't realised was lost. I guess when I moved away I "became" a different person and forgot to bring that side of me along for the ride. I am definitely going to try to recapture those parts of me - and those friends I have rediscovered will help me do that I hope.
Here's to next year's reunion!

Follies and evening sunshine

2009-06-03T20:44:00.005+01:00

Took advantage of the gorgeous weather we've been having lately and was invited by some friends to take the dogs for a walk out at Rivington. We parked up at the little barn and walked through the woods down to the Folly - which is apparently a copy of Liverpool Castle with views of the reservoir on one side and the Pike and winter hill on the other side.

From here we walked down to the reservoir and walked alongside, occasionally going to the water's edge to let the dogs have a quick paddle and a drink.

The evening was so peaceful, a few other walkers and cyclists were about, but the sun was warm, the sky blue and the company good. You'd never have thought we could be here up north at 8pm on an early June evening.

A great evening was had by all.

On High Tea, the Queen and being very English...

2009-05-23T17:45:00.004+01:00

My american relatives have been visiting these last two weeks. Auntie Gladys (she of the famous family potato salad recipe), her son and grand-daughter and her cousin. They have tried to fit in the whole british experience in 11 days - no mean feat!! After braving our roads with their hire car - I did try to explain that although places are technically a lot closer together here than in the states - our traffic and road systems can add hours to a journey they still managed to pack in some areas of Scotland, York, Lincolnshire and Stratford before coming back to me in the north.
I tried hard to think of what would be the ultimate English experience and finally settled on taking them for afternoon tea at the Midland Hotel in Manchester. After a few anxious moments - the taxi let us down so I had to drive in Manchester and find somewhere to park (thank heavens for satnav!) and braving downpours of torrential rain which miraculously stopped as we got out of the car, we walked a few 100 yards to the hotel and were shown to our table.
What an experience, beautiful surroundings, dainty sandwiches with the crusts cut off, fantastic selection of cakes - all served on wooden tiered cake stands and with a never ending supply of tea served in china cups and saucers. For a while there I thought I belonged to another era.

Anyway, you'd think that was english enough - but no - the next day the Queen visited - not quite my house - but our town. Now I think they have returned home thinking that we all must rub shoulders with royalty on a daily basis!!

Hypnosis, regression and a girl....

2009-05-01T08:50:00.004+01:00

Well! Last night I did something that I have wanted to do for years - I was "taken under" (not sure of correct term) Past Life Regression hypnosis. How fascinating. For years I have had a keen interest in past life stories and indeed have a strong belief in re-incarnation, but I never found anyone who could take me through this. Anyway, during a chance conversation with a friend I found that he was trained to use regression hypnosis within his role at a palliative care hospice and part of his training did involve past life regression (although not much call for that on the NHS!). Unfortunately for him I think I may have backed him into a corner with my enthusiasm and he agreed to try it with me.
Having intrigued my facebook friends with a teasing build up to the session - I sat down with him last night as he explained any of the risks involved - might not work, might be distressing etc - but ultimately I would be in control. He explained the expectations arising from experiences of watching hypnosis as entertainment and that each person has a uniqueness as to how they achieve and experience total relaxation - which is what is needed in order to reach the subconscious mind.
Having banished husband upstairs with dog and endeavoured total freedom from distraction I got comfortable and we started.
At first it was like any usual relaxation session - noting awareness and then gently letting go (no dangling watches and "you are feeling sleepy" - bit disppointing!).
Then some visualisation techniques. There were times when I did feel detached and "in tune" and others where I couldn't stop my conscious mind interfering (especially as dog kept coming to the closed - glazed-door to see what was going on). Subsequently it is really really hard to say whether what I felt was real or whether I made it up!!
I found it hard to "see" anything - I expected to be in a film of one of my previous lives with clear images and sounds. What I did experience was a 'sense' of something, an inner knowledege of what was happening. I was aware of questions being asked and sometimes I had clear answers and at other times I had no answer (so if I was making it up wouldn't I have answers ready for all questions??). So, ultimately, what I "experienced" was a very short period in the life and death of a 15 year old, black female. My first experience was "freedom" being totally alone with sensation of being near caves and sand. This soon turned to "alone" and "sad" as I believed it felt as though I had been abandoned and left to die. Her death came not long after, again alone and sad - sensing of a death from starvation/dehydration. Stereotypically I did experience a tunnel with light (bit disappointed about that actually). But what was interesting is that whilst I find it hard to visualise images - I have a strong pull to colours which may represent or symbolise something - not sure what yet!
I was brought back to full awareness and we then sat chatting for a while and sharing the experiences of the session - really useful and interesting.
We are going to continue with another session next week to give me chance to practice the skill of total relaxation - still excited even though it wasn't totally what I thought it would be.

Do-nuts and flying don't mix........

2009-04-21T21:40:00.005+01:00

Was lucky enough to be invited to Alton Towers at the weekend to help celebrate a 7th birthday - what fun! I jumped at the chance but made it very clear that I didn't do scary, high, up and down or even upside down. I'm ok with spinning and I was happy to hold the bags oh, and I didn't do "wet" either. Perhaps not helped by husband suggesting that I beware of any rides that conquer gravity in fear of bursting open from my operation scar (ever the optimist!!).
Little did I realise what the power of persuasion and the potential humiliation of being outsmarted by a 9 year old!!!

The day itself turned out to be another lovely spring day with the promise of sunshine and clear skies - and my decision not to take a jacket was vindicated. Found the way there fine with the trusty satnav, parking no problem. First stop the monorail from the car park to the entrance gates - explained that this would probably fulfill my excitement quota for the day.

Straight into the park - and as it is nearly 30 years since I was last there - it was all new to me and what amazed me first was the space and the beauty of the old home, the gardens and the expanse of water. Anyway enough of culture - next stop food - lunch was eaten at 10.30am- at least one less bag to carry!

The rides themselves look amazing - and some I would run a mile from definitely, however at risk of being shown up for a complete wuss I was persuaded to go on at least 7 rides (admittedly one or two of these were very tame) I went on Blade (big pirate ship) and in the Haunted House (where I got the highest score for shooting zombies - just goes to show how scared I was) but the biggest thing was being persuaded by a 9 year old that Air! was peaceful and just like flying! Never again- especially after do-nuts. If you've never been on it - this is a ride where the floor disappears and you're tipped facing the ground and then round you go at speed on a roller coaster that turns you upside down, back to front etc. The worst indignity is that they then take your photo in the middle of this - I honestly looked like a troll!!!

My favourite was the Spinball Whizzer - although this was in essence a waltzer on a roller coaster it was brill - although the 9 year old next to me was deafened by my alternate screams and maniacal, hysterical laughter. Would go on that one again definitely.

Anyway, we were there for nearly 8 hours - and all of them enjoyable. I'd definitely go again.

Arafwch nawr

2009-04-15T12:20:00.007+01:00

Went away for the Easter weekend to Wales - what fantastic weather we had. We were up a mountain in a chalet (a v. steep 1in1 hill had to be conquered before reaching the place) near Aberdovey. The views of the estuary were tranquil and only the sounds of birdsong, sheep and children playing could be heard. Just what we needed. Did a bit of beach activity one day for Bruno and some sightseeing - but mainly sitting out on the balcony in the sun, chatting, drinking, eating (lots) and general merriment.

Then we came home and yesterday my car alarm decided to go off -- and off----and off. I quickly became the neighbour from hell as we tried everything to stop it. I couldn't control it from the key thingy. Even the man from Green Flag didn't know what to do so we ended up disconnecting the battery until I could take it in to a garage today. Anybody know how to disarm an Audi A4 alarm??

Do you have a wiki?

2009-04-07T09:11:00.007+01:00

I've been teaching my family to use wikis - what a great application.
We have decided to have a big get together for Halloween weekend and, as I've been off work for a while convalescing, I was tasked with finding somwhere that would take 16 of us and 5 dogs - no easy task I can tell you!
Finally found a fantastic place in Lincolnshire where we have rented 3 apartments in the grounds of an old hall- but where was everyone to sleep to ensure any room sharing preserved modesty and the 5 dogs were spread out?
After a few emails backwards and forwards between everyone - waiting for replies and making sure that everyone had access to all the info, I suddenly had a brainwave (doesn't happen very often). Why not use a wiki. I have been using these with both undergraduate and post graduate students and on abstracts and publications with colleagues in NZ and USA successfully for some time as a means of sharing and networking so thought I'd give it a go.
I set one up (very easy) , told everyone to watch the youtube video (linked above) and started three pages - 1) where everyone was sleeping, 2) finance (deposit and full monies due etc as a spreadsheet so everyone knew where they were upto) and 3) Items to bring - for example who's bringing the ghost stories, pumpkins, games and of course all the food we'll need for us all.

It's working a treat - everyone's contributed - in fact the older generation have been the most keen and we are well on the way to a great weekend.

Here's to more web 2.0 and a great halloween weekend.

Yo-Yo Consultancies

2009-03-26T21:49:00.000Z

Am very excited today. I went to the bank to set up a business account for Yo-Yo Consultancies (links to our website but still a work in progress) It feels rather strange - almost like I signed my life away - but am very excited all the same. We have currently set the business up as a Partnership as I have joined with another occupational therapist and, both being employed full time, we will have only limited opportunity to develop the business into a major limited company at this stage. Yo-Yo will be an additional string to our bow and will initially concentrate on time limited contracts that offer advice, guidance and project management to occupational therapy related projects. The business will start at the beginning of April with a contract from the College of Occupational Therapists to consider the issue of the Advanced Practitioner role - so all systems go in the next few weeks - luckily I should be back to full speed by then.

It is really quite daunting to be asked what the business is about - we have spent very little time vocalising our aims and purpose - it took us quite a while to settle on the focus of Yo-Yo - being in discussions for about a year now. Still, if we don't take the plunge now then we may always have regrets. We are considering setting up a blog just for Yo-Yo to offer reflections and news on what we are up to. Any link will eventually be found on our website - so watch that space!!!

Sauntering, pondering and daydreaming

2009-03-20T18:07:00.000Z

Yay I can now walk around like a " normal" human being without pain - albeit rather slow. I posted a status update on my Facebook page recently that said I was enjoying sauntering in the early spring sunshine - and a friend posted a comment that the word 'sauntering' isn't used much these days. But sauntering is most definitely what I am doing. I am forced to walk quite slowly and am therefore re-experiencing the joy of aimlessness and daydreaming. Normally I walk with purpose - to get to somewhere, to fetch something, always with a time limit on it (have never been one to walk as a hobby - this too is purposeful walking and tends to involve more hiking and treking than I can possible find enjoyable). I'm talking about aimless sauntering, the sort of pace one uses when walking home from school. Whilst engaged in this activity (admitedly this takes place in the cemetary as it's the nearest - being opposite the house) I have read the old stones and wondered about the lives of the people who were buried there over 100 years ago - whole families eventually joining each other. I have been able to think - really think about past, present and future possibilities for myself. I have taken time to watch the birds nest building, the daffodils swaying in a breeze - and people watched. All the while I have been engaged in slowly walking - developing a pattern and a rhythm that has been both relaxing and strengthening. I guess it has allowed me to re-engage with my more reflective side - and brought back memories of many happy childhood hours spent sitting by water or up trees just thinking and daydreaming. I'd forgotten about that side of me in the cut and thrust of everyday life. So - everybody - have a saunter from time to time and get in touch with your more ponderous side - allow yourself the opportunity to daydream and to really experience what is going on around you.

The Magic Curtain

2009-03-09T13:38:00.000Z

Well, the op did take place and I have not been able to sit for too long at my computer until today so haven't been able to post. After two weeks of walking like Mrs Overall in Acorn Antiques I can now stand up straight and walk a little way without doubling over.
I have now experienced the "magic curtain" you know the one - the curtain that swishes round a hospital bed and suddenly makes everything secure, safe and confidential! This is certainly a strange phenomena from a patient perspective. The curtains of other's hold a fascination for the bedridden yet conscious - what is going on behind the barrier, who are those people who arrive with clipboard in hand and "swish" and then disappear into another world? As new patients arrive the magic curtain is "swished" immediately - to protect them from prying eyes or to keep them from escaping I wonder? Regardless of what professionals might believe about privacy and dignity - the curtains DON'T do it!!
I had occasion to be the victim of much curtain "swishing". The day after my op I was visited by a number of "hello my name's ..." (another thing professionals are taught to do and actually as a patient I couldn't care less - least of all remember!) I was then informed of an 'incident' that happened in the recovery room ( at this point my mind was working overtime - I died? I fell off the table? I was attacked by an axe-wielding madman?) - no- apparently I was given out of date morphine - a minor problem in the grand scheme of things but throughout the rest of the day I lost count of the "swishing" of the magic curtain as doctors, nurses, anaethestists and pharmacists came to visit me to apologise and reassure me that I was not affected by this. All I wanted to do was sleep and stop throwing up!! Anyway all's well that ends well - I'm home, recovering and looking forward to some relaxation before returning to work.

So in a nutshell- What I learned from a patient perspective:
1. Giving names is not necessary - role is more important
2. The curtain around the bed does offer the patient a sense of privacy - but is not Magic
3. Doctors no longer seem to wear white coats - and they seem to be followed by very young, very thin young women carrying clipboards and taking notes
4. The ward is ruled - not by matron - but by infection control - who also appear from nowhere every now'n' again with a clipboard
5. Nurses still feel the need to discuss their private lives across the beds of patients (interesting but not very professional)
6. Everyone is obsessed by elinination of bodily fluids - and it can be catching. I found myself discussing this with my visitors at every opportunity- it's what divided up the days

And another thing .......

2009-02-16T18:10:00.000Z

So, the NHS gets another chance! Tomorrow I go in for my op - fingers crossed that they go through with it this time - I don't think I could deal with another cancellation. I had occasion to test the NHS again last night and am sad to say that they failed yet again. I cut my finger on a steak knife whilst cutting a bit of beef for a sandwich - yes I know - not the right tool for the job- and predictably I sliced through the top of my finger. Now, those of you who know me will know that this is not an unusual occurrence - have had more stitches in various fingers than a tapestry - and no - I guess I'll never learn. Anyway, anyway after 2 hours it still hadn't stopped bleeding (despite being wrapped in a teatowel - ancient, little known remedy!) so decided that could just about drive to local hospital to get it seen to. Duly did - disturbed the dog who was snoring away on the sofa and thought he was settled for the night and arrived into an empty carpark. Now you'd have thought this would have been a clue - but was too busy congratulating self on getting a space. Would you believe that casualty dept was closed!!!! Opening hours 7am to 9pm. Nearest one therefore 9 or 10 miles away and no way could I have driven that far. And I wasted £2 on a parking ticket!
Who says the NHS is client-centered, "your say your choice" and "putting the patient first" are obviously not working.
Hey ho, let's hope tomorrow is third time lucky.

Where's all the snow?

2009-02-08T12:38:00.000Z

For well over a week now we seem to have been bombarded from all (media) angles that the country is covered in snow, everywhere is snowed in, don't leave the house unless you really have to. We've heard that this is the worst snow "we've" had for 18 years blah, blah, blah. When what they really mean is the South East (and some areas of the midlands) Now, I like a good read of the newspapers as well as the next person, I also like to watch the BBC News and Sky News channels at least once during a day, however these recent reports have only gone to serve the view that the north/south divide really is fit and well. I remember not that long ago (maybe about 8 years) we had that much snow that I couldn't get my car up the road to my house - don't remember that being headline news for days. I watched with interest a reporter, huddled into a quilted coat using language such as "chaos" and "devastation" and behind her was a row of cottages with a bit of snow on a village green (you could still see tufts of grass) and cars outside the cottages with not even a tyre buried in snow that were "snowed-in". Methinks the media needs to consider the language it is using - if it uses such catastrophic descriptions for trivial sitiuations where will it be when it needs to report something of gravitas and pathos?

(PS image is of a snowman built by my brother when we had real snow a few years ago)

The New Improved NHS........

2009-01-27T15:52:00.000Z

There I was in my gown and surgical stockings having not eaten or drunk anything for 13 hours when the Assistant Directorate Manager (about 12 years old!) came to me as I sat by the bed waiting to go down to theatre and told me they'd run out of theatre time and would therefore be cancelling my op and would definitely reschedule within the next 28 days - off you go home now!!!
I was devasted and extremely angry - and almost told them what they could do with their operation - but then quickly realised that was probably a bit too petulant and would be cutting my nose off to spite my face.
I left as quickly as I could, got home and felt extremely sorry for myself for a few hours. Now I am trying to get back to some semblance of normality whilst I wait to go back in in three weeks time ( and counting). How cruel of them to put me through this - so much for the new improved NHS is all I can say ( well, is all that is printable anyway!).

Happy New Year: Status update

2009-01-18T15:30:00.000Z

Have been slowly preparing myself for the op - passed the health assessment so all being well will go in a few days time. Have begun to get a bit nervous now - made worse by the husband asking where all the important documents can be found if "the worst" happens and do I want to be buried or cremated! Nice one. There also appear to be many more stories in the media about hospital errors, operating table disasters, MRSA etc etc - or perhaps I just a bit more sensitive at the moment!
I must admit it is hard to concentrate on much else now - and I still have 3 more working days to go - goodness knows where my head will be at. I suppose I ought to get used to it as the symptoms of the menopause will be hot on my heels - get ready for forgetfulness, hot flushes and general irritation. Oh the joys of woman hood!!!
I intend to write of my experiences - if you can bear to read it here.
On a more positive note - the business that has been in the pipeline for a couple of years has finally emerged from the discussional table and we have our first commission to start in April - potential new career here we come! New website being built for this soon

Merry Xmas

2008-12-18T05:56:00.000Z

OK, still off from work - but there is an end in sight - I shall be going in for "the op" at the end of January all being well. I get to go back to work after Xmas for a few weeks and then I shall be off again for about 6 - 8 weeks, be careful what you wish for - being a lady of leisure is not all it's cracked up to be! Having exhausted the magazines (now donated to local GP surgery) and daytime TV - found a good channel showing Xmas films all day - unfortunately it was the same 5 films so eventually I could recite the script and they all started to meld into one long film where snow, visting angels and happy endings played a huu-uuge part, I am now onto jigsaws, shopping channels and facebook.
Bruno has not been idle in this period. We thought it would be a good idea whilst I was at home to have his "spuds" off. Hasn't slowed him down yet - but we've been told could be 6 months before we realise there's a difference! He currently has a bandage on his paw as he has an infected claw - so he's been in the wars too. The dreaded lurgy struck our house last week and we were both bed ridden for practically the whole week - it was definitely a competetion to see who was the greatest invalid - I won as I had my initial problems to fall back on and could therefore argue that I was twice as poorly!
Anyway, I realise that I have not been a good blogger over the last few weeks - both on this one and my professional one but I will try to be more stimulating and informative soon (maybe I'll make a new year's resolution?). In the meantime a merry xmas to you all - hope it is what you would wish for - and I'll be back in the new year with further tales of my convalescence and other stories

Enforced rest .......

2008-11-21T11:32:00.000Z

I am currently in the unfortunate/fortunate position of having to take enforced rest. Those of you that know me will be aware of some ongoing medical problems - those who don't suffice to say "women's troubles" and spare you the gory details.
Having spent a week feeling poorly and trying desperately to avoid hospital admission I am now feeling slightly more human and can actually enjoy my time off work for the next week (I hope).
Anyway, what to do with this time? I have become very organised for Xmas (in case I needed to be in hospital) and used online shopping to great advantage - and then wrapped things as they are delivered. I have got parcels ready for USA and Oz ready for the Xmas posting dates, complete with letters and cards.
I have tried my best to watch day time TV - how dire is that? We pay a fortune for god knows how many channels and all you get are reality talk shows, naff quizz shows and thriller/murder/sci-fi shows with old has-beens taking a cameo role! Bring back the old black and white flims or even a musical once in a while please! So, I then spent an absolute mint on Xmas magazines, and now feel totally inadequate because I do not:
a) have a country farm house
b) run a cottage industry making shortbread from my own designer kitchen
c) have 4 children under the age of 10 who sit quietly in a tableau of creativity and expectant glee
d) own that perfect little black dress with killer heels - wearing whilst in the country and making shortbread obviously
e) spend £200 on a permanent blow-dry to keep that just stepped out of the salon look for upto three weeks "!"

Can't wait to go back to work..........

A very special thing....

2008-11-11T18:04:00.000Z

I have just received a very special parcel today. Now some of you may think this is a strange and rather macabre thing - but I happen to think it is a unique and special tribute. What is it?
Well, those of you who follow my musings will know that I lost my beloved pet earlier in the year. I found this a devastating experience, and I would say that I lost not only a pet, but a part of myself with her. She was very special (as I'm sure most of you think of your own pets).
Somehow, trawling through the internet I came across someone who makes teddy bears from pet hair/fur. As it happens I had kept an amount of her fur, when I'd groom her I'd put some of her fur out for the birds to use for nesting and I kept quite a bit of the rest. Don't ask me why, I don't really know - other to say that I am a great sentimentalist and love to keep mementoes and keepsakes of all sorts of things.
Anyway, I contacted this lady to ask what she would need - a really lovely and talented lady- and eventually after a few emails and telephone calls I received the finished bear today.
It is so lovely - it's expression is cute yet wistful- and it has an air of my beloved girl about it.
It helps.

What more could anyone ask for?

2008-10-19T22:07:00.001+01:00

October is here - and a mixed bag of weather from torrential rain to mild and sunny days. The last 2 sundays have been perfect weather for walking in the late autumn sunshine.
Last week, after guests staying over for the weekend, we took Bruno for a late sunday afternoon stroll to Pennington Flash, a local site favourite with wildlife enthusiasts and walkers alike. Now, those who know me know very well that I am not a walker - but I must say that I am really enjoying these latest communing with nature exploits. I am taking some good photos and then have something worth sharing on my blog - and Bruno gets some good, healthy exercise also!!

Then this weekend we we lucky to be invited by an old friend to go visit. She lives with her family in the grounds of Newstead Abbey in nottinghamshire. I have never been there before but it turns out that my Dad, as a youth, used to cycle there from Grantham on a sunday with the YMCA - a fitter man than me that's for sure! The Abbey's history dates back to 1170, with the building of a priory at Newstead, Nottinghamshire in the heart of Sherwood Forest. Said to have been built as part of Henry II's penance for his part in the murder of Thomas A Becket, The grounds and gardens are stunning and of course, another sunny weekend showed it in fine fettle - peacocks wandering around on your front lawn and swans and other wildlife on your back lawn - magical. The abbey was also once owned by the Byron family and the lake has two small forts, which the odd 5th Lord Byron (not the poet! but his father I think) used to stage mock naval battles, involving a fleet of vessels including a miniature 20-gun ship. Good food, good company, great surroundings and a bit of culture - what more could anyone ask for?

Road Rage

2008-10-04T21:54:00.000+01:00

I witnessed my first road rage incident yesterday and I am still haunted by the sight of a large man in his 30s trying to drag a man in his late 60s (or older) through a car window whilst punching him in the face! All because the older man dared to beep his horn at the car the younger man was a passenger in that had stopped in traffic and blocked the exit.
This was bad enough, but what perhaps was worse was that we were in rush hour traffic with cars and vans backing up on both sides of the road and no-one, NO-ONE, got out to help the old man. I eventually leant on my horn to at least draw some attention to what was going on and then a few followed suit until we were all so loud and insistent that the younger man got back in as the traffic moved and the car drove away. As the older guy drove away - obviously shaken - he nearly caused an accident as the lights had changed and cars were just driving round him.
Now, by this time I too am slightly shaken and extremely indignant. As I pull into the supermarket car park I call the police to report the assault - having taken the number plate of the car - and they can't/won't so anything unless the older guy actually reports the assault himself.
How can it be that anyone thinks it's Ok to act this way? and how can it be that the system is set up to let someone get away with such bullying and frankly criminal behaviour. I despair!

Shuffle, hop, step ball change.......

2008-09-26T10:18:00.000+01:00

Had my second tap dancing lesson last night. Here is what I have learned so far:

a) I am far too unfit
b) dancing in front of wall to wall, full length mirrors has to be the least flattering angle
c) I have lost any rhythm I thought I had
d) I have no control over my feet
e) I have no style
f) I am far too unfit

Apart from that it really is enjoyable, the 45 minutes of the lesson fly by and afterwards I may look completely exhausted but I do feel energised. A quick trip to the pub across the road from the dance centre to replenish lost liquid and then home until next week.

Shuffle, hop, step ball change ....................

A jaunt back in time .....

2008-09-22T20:46:00.001+01:00

This weekend we took a quick trip to Norfolk. We figured it was probably the last sunny weekend we might get this year - so a four and a half hour drive was worth it to spend a day and a bit on the beach! We were finally able to let Bruno run, something he wasn't able to do in the summer due to his accident and he had such a great time - so did we come to that -peaceful, sunny and relaxing. Such a shame we had to come home.

Anyway, while we were there Sheringham was holding a 40s weekend at the Poppy Line steam railway station. People dressed up, 40s music was playing - we just spent a while people watching and enjoying the atmosphere. It's amazing what you can see if you just stop your normal daily routine. A great weekend was had by all - back to normality now unfortunately, ah well......

Towards a fitter and better behaved household...

2008-09-13T13:03:00.000+01:00

You may have read in my post entitled "my favourite beach" that our dog was in an accident a few weeks ago. He slipped his collar and got hit by a car. Well, we have now enrolled him in Dog School - first session on wednesday so I intend to keep you upto date with his progress. He knows nothing of this at the moment and is blissfully unaware of the hard work to come!! In fact as I write he is in his favourite position in his chair - as per photo (bet dog school don't allow personal items of furniture!!).
Watch this space also for my own foray into classes - I've decided to have a go at tap dancing - and at 46 years old this is not to be taken lightly. If I make it through the first session I'll let you know how I get on (but I promise - no photos)- here's to a fitter and better behaved family!!!!

The Connected Academic

2008-09-12T22:00:00.000+01:00

Just taken this quiz The Connected Academic , my results:

You are the future! You've taken openness, connectedness and 2.0ness to heart. You are an asset to your organisation. I would be happy to be your Facebook friend.

Hah, must be doing something right!!

Abseiling santa, sunshine and snow....

2008-08-25T19:28:00.000+01:00

Just had to share a rather bizarre experience that happened this weekend - decided to visit Botany Bay for a bit or browsing- and guess what - on August Bank Holiday Saturday it was their first day of Christmas!! We were greeted by a small choir of carol singers dressed in Mrs Santa costumes and bedecked with bells and collection buckets. Then, whilst waiting at one of the tills to pay for purchases the PA system came to life with a customer announcement - "Santa will be abseiling down the front of the building in 5 minutes - anyoine wishing to watch santa abseil down the building should go outside now" - too surreal!!!
Anyway - too good an opportunity to miss - so went outside - to fake snow billowing from the top of the building, more carol singing and of course santa abseiling. Ah well, another Bank Holiday weekend in Britain!!!

My Favourite Beach...

2008-08-20T22:42:00.000+01:00

image: mundesley beach

Managed to fit in a few days in Norfolk last week and between the rainy days we got a good few hours on my favourite beach - Mundesley. We should have spent the week there but our best boy decided to slip his collar and have an argument with a car 2 days before we were due to go. At the time was very distressing and we thought we were going to lose him - but he has made a miraculous recovery and was up and about the following day as if nothing had happened- although a bit wobbly and sore. Anyway - the vet said we could go away for a few days so went from Tuesday to Saturday. Drove down in torrential rain - lovely british summer weather. On our second day we had to find a vets again as best boy decided to eat a wasp!! Tongue started to swell so needed steriods and antihistamine injections - what a plonker!!!
Mundesley beach just as secluded, soft and peaceful as always. Am still in holiday mode at moment but returning to work after the bank holiday so will get back to the blogging more seriously soon.

From cocktails to drowned rats....

2008-08-06T22:08:00.000+01:00

What a week I'm having - in a good way I might add! Currently on leave from work I have taken this opportunity to catch up with friends and having a great time.
Monday was cocktails in the Manchester Hilton - complete with fantastic view over Manchester city centre. Great company, great atmosphere and then onto Dimitris for greek tapas - yum yum. And the best bit was that I managed to drive into manchester and park (with a little help from my trusty sat nav!).
Tuesday was ribs and carbonara in Lymm- an old favourite where I don't even need to look at the menu - I very predictably go for the same thing - boring I know but delicious. Again a great evening and then back to my friend's house to try out the Wii fit board - what fun. I love the hula hoop, the steps and the jogging - have been trying to get one for ages but all sold out - let me know if you hear of any. Definitely felt like a workout!

Today I went into Liverpool to meet an old friend visiting oop north for the week. Great to see her and catch up with things. Best bit was deciding to take an open top bus tour of the city - until it started to rain - and I mean torrential. We tried the brollies at first but admitted defeat and went downstairs. No better, the bus leaked and because the top floor was flooded, everytime we went round a corner the water poured down the stairwell and into the bottom deck - hilarious and created a real community spirit on the bus. The guide - Neville- like a trouper tried to carry on with his narrative of the city but ended up sounding like Norman Collier as the water got into his microphone!! Anyway we soon dried off (steamed off probably a better description) and it was soon time to catch the train home - with promises of meeting up soon - I really hope we do.
Ah well, need to rest now for the rest of the week!!!

Mamma Mia........

2008-08-03T00:30:00.000+01:00

"Here I go again.. my,my, how can I resist you"!!! Have just seen the film at the Odeon in Leicester Square. What a great film!! My glory days (well hopefully I still have a few more of those to come- but you know what I mean...) were backed by Abba - I was the Dancing Queen, and had my heart dented more than once to the strains of "Winner Takes it all" ( played over and over again on my old stereogram in my bedroom .. much to the chagrin of my parents).
Anyway - back to the film- a real feel good film that manages to integrate the songs to a well played out story - without being cliched. I was sad, uplifted and amused all at the same time and left the cinema wanting to dance and skip whilst trailing a scarf behind me - in the sunshine and with a beautiful backdrop of course. Pity it was raining when we left the cinema.
I'm definitely going to see it again..

A Holiday Romance....

2008-07-12T21:45:00.000+01:00

I just wanted to share with you my new love affair - now some of you will be thinking the wrong thing here. I have recently returned from a cruising holiday around the Meditteranean. One of the excursions from the ship was to Pompeii - somewhere I have always wanted to visit (Egypt and the pyramids, is the other place I would like to see before I die.). I wasn't disappointed - absolutely fantastic, fascinating, awesome and inspirational. However my new love affair is with Mt Vesuvius itself. It's presence over the landscape is magical - you can feel it - it fills the horizon as a brooding parent, menacing yet strangely hypnotic. Like the anti-hero in an old black and white film that you know you shouldn't be drawn to but you can't help yourself. I wanted to stay and just be in its shadow for longer - but I had to get back on the bus. A holiday romance I'll never forget.....

The Secret in My Attic .........

2008-07-12T21:27:00.000+01:00

Well not so much a secret as a guilty pleasure. of course I'm talking about my model railway. Definitely a work in progress - and maybe it will never be finished - but I am hoping to spend more time with it than I have over the last two years.
I always remember that one of my favourite things as a child was a Hornby engine and a small square hardboard with a circular track. I don't remember what happened to it - I think it burned out - but I loved it.
A couple of xmases ago my husband surprised me with a Hornby model of the Flying Scotsman - only problem was we had nowhere to put it - so we had the attic converted (bit drastic I know!) and it lives up there. If we ever move it can't come out as the board that holds the track was put up before the stairs went in!!
We have gradually put in the track and some buildings - and plan to do so much more- and eventually it will reflect a small taste of Norfolk in the '50's and '60's with a Broad and wherry, a church and graveyard - I have all the people and props it's just a case of finding some time to put it all together.
Happy chugging ......

A family heirloom

2008-06-15T12:23:00.000+01:00

Thought I'd share with you a project of mine that I finished a while ago - but found cathartic and a very relaxing and comforting experience. When my Mum died a couple of years ago now, I found it hard to think about all her clothes going to charity shops etc and that someone else might wear them. I know that this probably seems a rather irrational view - and I can't really defend it, but Mum was always so into her wardrobe - she had a flair for co-ordinating clothes into an outfit and had a certain style all of her own - she always looked good. So whilst we were clearing her things I found myself ferreting outfits and items of clothing away that were so "Mum". Then I decided that maybe I could make a quilt with them. In the end I made 3 quilts and gave one to my sister and brother and kept one for myself for the first Xmas without Mum. I then made another in the following year for my niece as a wedding present.

I'd never quilted before - apart from a small english patchwork project years ago where you cut octagonal shapes out of paper, cover with material and then hand sew together. I chose american quilting which is much more creative and yet quicker as you can machine sew. At first it was difficult to cut up the clothes and I used to have dreams where Mum would come back, it had all been a big mistake and I had cut up all her clothes. But gradually as they became transformed into something visible and something that would be seen daily I began to enjoy the process and it helped me to come to terms with my loss. When I gave the others away, whilst there were a few tears, there were also smiles and happy memories and people picked out outfits and remembered special occasions when they had been worn, for example the black and white square was made from Mum's choir uniform, another contained the outfit she wore for her 50th wedding anniversary celebrations. I would certainly recommend this process to anyone and I now have a very special family heirloom to pass onto others.

Black Hills of Dakota

2008-06-05T22:25:00.000+01:00

image: Blackrod workshop 2008

What a fantastic Sunday I had!!! I was persuaded months ago to sign up for a women's singing workshop that was held last sunday. Now I have sung in the past - mainly as a school girl in school and church choirs and in the local music festivals. I ahve even been known to sing a few bars at the end of semester xmas revue, but it's a long time since I have sung just for the hell of it. I was a bit apprehensive, but decided "what the heck" and went along with some friends from work.

It was soooo good. The workshop called Rejoice the Voice was run perfectly by Chris While, Julie Matthews and Helen Watson and was advertised thus:

Do you feel you have a voice and nowhere to sing? - this is for you. Do you think you have no voice and need to sing? - This is for you. Have you been told you can't sing but really want to?- This is for you Chris, Julie and Helen have been hosting these workshops for years now, all three are highly regarded and internationally acclaimed professional singers. You will be rejoicing in three part harmony before the first hour is through.

And we were, it felt so good to be singing again and today I received a copy of the cd that we recorded whilst we were singing - it is amazing how good we sounded.

Our best boy!

2008-05-31T22:33:00.000+01:00

Meet our new boy. The dog shaped hole left by my beloved girl was too vast to live with so we decided to go to the local dog rescue home and find another one to lavish love and affection onto. We will never replace her, but we have too much to offer not to give another dog the care and attention it needs - so off we went.
There he was in his cage - all around him barking, pirouetting "pick me, pick me!!" whilst he sat perfectly still at the door, watching and waiting. We couldn't resist him - in addition to the fact that he had been there for 4 months, it is hard to believe that such a loving, affectionate and handsome dog could be overlooked. Could be partly to do with the fact that he is a staffy cross (we think with whippet) - and boy he's fast!!! We're still training him - but he's settling in fast and picking up what we need from him quickly. He's good with children and other dogs (not tried him with cats yet though!).
I'm sure there will be many adventures to come - will keep you posted.

TAKE A LOOK: There are hundreds of dogs just waiting for someone to love them, if you can't take one home - how about sponsoring a dog? -

Did I need to know....?

2008-05-26T17:31:00.000+01:00

Just thought I'd share a rather bizarre experience that happened to me the other day. I was in the Trafford Centre and decided to buy a pair of shoes in a well known store. I went to the counter to be served by a young girl (surprisingly most seem to be young to me these days!). This is the conversation that took place:
Shopgirl : Can you hear me when I talk?
Me: Yes very well.
Shopgirl: Oh good, I think people can't hear me when I speak.
Me: (Thinking - is she asking me to diagnose her? Does she have a problem and for some reason I'm exuding professional mode) No, I can assure you that I can hear you
Shopgirl: good, it's just that I was out last night and we had a lock-in at the pub and I think I'm still drunk ........

She then went on to give me detail of what she'd been drinking etc etc. Did I really need to know that as a stranger - and certainly not as a customer. I wonder what her boss thought!!!

A thought for today!

2008-05-17T17:19:00.000+01:00

I found myself with tears today for someone I didn't know and never met. I was in the middle of a small cafe (having eaten much too much as usual!). My Dad - who is a funeral director - started telling me about a customer, an elderly lady, who had to bury her husband. He had died on the way to hospital and therefore there had to be an enquiry which had delayed things a bit. Eventually my Dad got a call from a social worker on behalf of this lady asking if he would arrange and conduct the funeral as this lady was very specific about the firm she wanted to use and there was no branch in her home town. She had not realised that she needed to make the arrangements and had thought the hospital would do all that for her - so the funeral had been delayed even longer than was necessary.
Dad agreed, the funeral was conducted and afterwards the social worker, who attended, asked Dad and the hearse driver to go back to the house as the lady had organised some sandwiches. What really got to me was that the only people attending was the lady, the social worker and Dad and his colleague. She had gone to the trouble of making a pile of ham sandwiches knowing that there would be no-one else at her husband's funeral. I'm sorry but I find this really difficult to deal with - how sad is that - that at the end of life there is no-one to help both mourn and celebrate?
Which leads me on to another issue I have with this whole dealing with death thing. I lost my mother two years ago - and the processing of death is an extremely impersonal and bureaucratic experience. At one of the most vulnerable times of your life you are having to deal with nameless and faceless offices, paperwork, signatures, registering etc. Decisions to make about buffets, flowers, coffins, hymns etc not to mention joint accounts, informing various departments, friends etc. The timeline is tight, and there is a specific order to things that have to be done that no-one tells you about and very few are prepared to help with. I was fortunate to have family supporting each other through this time. What about the elderly and infirm, those on their own having to deal with the grief and loss of a bereavement and yet deal with financial and far reaching decisions at the same time. Surely this has to be changed. Death is a natural part of the cycle and has been so since the beginning of time - surely we should be getting better at it by now?

Eurovision!!!

2008-05-06T19:51:00.001+01:00

Well, the annual event is almost upon us once again - 24th May 2008. The Eurovision Song contest is one of the highlights of my year. Call me "sad" if you must, but I don't believe I have missed a contest since I was a small child when my parents would put myself, my brother and sister to bed early in the evening (6 pm-ish) in order for us to have a nap before being woken up to watch the whole of the contest. It seemed so exciting to be up so late and watching a spectacle - as it seemed to me at the time. And we used to win sometimes in the good old days!
In latter years I have held Eurovision parties of my own where guests are expected to vote and play drinking games and shout at the voting of the partisan countries who always vote for their neighbours etc. It seems that there are few friends of the UK left.
It will soon be time to get out the international buffet menu , dust down the flags and get ready to have an evening of song, sequins and sycophancy!! Good luck to Andy Abraham - go for it!!
Hope you enjoy your Eurovision too. Maybe you'd like to share your experiences?

I think I'm a pleb!!!

2008-04-02T20:01:00.000+01:00

I went to the ballet last night for the first time (having managed 40 odd years without ever going before). I was with some good friends, in a box in a theatre with a good reputation. We went for tea before the performance and a foreward thinking member of the group even brought along cinder toffee and jelly babies to keep us going.
The ballet was Swan Lake - I knew the music well having worn out my parents LP of the same as a young girl - often offering my version of the choreography as I attempted my aspirational career as a prima -ballerina.
All was in place for a thoroughly good time........ but I HATED it!!!

I am so disappointed with myself - I expected to be transposed to a magical land full of high emotion and ethereal whatnots. Instead all I could think was that there was too much dancing!!
This by no means is a slight on the costumes and sets - absolutely stunning, the skill and expertise of each of the dancers - their mixture of strength and grace a marvel, or indeed the company of the evening. But each of these things retained individuality for me - I couldn't help thinking that the story was laboured and that there was perhaps a modicum of self indulgence.
Am I am complete philistine with no hope of cultural redemption?

(PS I don't like opera either!!!!)

It's a strange thing......

2008-03-04T21:35:00.000Z

It's a strange thing that happens when you try to expand and develop your horizons. From the seed of a good idea you strive to learn more about it (whatever "it" is) and begin to apply your learning to given situations/new developments etc. You gain a level of confidence with this new thing - and then you jump into a larger pool (I guess your horizon expands!) and you realise how little you actually know about it - and it starts all over again.
I know this is not particularly earth shattering news to anyone - but it perhaps mirrors my current state of mind. What I'd like to know is: A)Where do you find the energy from to carry horizon scanning on and b) how do you get over the feeling that one day you'll get caught out and someone will find out what little substance lies behind the facade??
Just a thought for today!

Who are blogs for?

2008-02-28T14:28:00.001Z

Hello, having been part of a group blog for about a year now - I have decided to create an arm of my own and see how it feels to be less constrained by responsibility to a corporate brand.
I understand what our group blog is about - sharing professional ideas and reflections and networking across like - minded institutions, but I begin with a question here.
Who are personal blogs for? Are they for the writer or the reader? Should I be creating a personal diary that can be seen by anyone (bit scary!) or should I be trying to showcase something of myself? In discussions with others the main thing that seems to arise is to be genuine.
What would anyone reading this want to know - that I am also able and prepared to share?
I would welcome any direction and advice that other bloggers could offer.

Goodnight Sweet Pea

2008-02-28T13:57:00.000Z

Our clever, beautiful, loving girl died on St Valentine’s Day 2008 at 3am at the age of 15 years. She was the cleverest, brightest dog stuffed full of personality. She could sing and dance- summer holiday in summer, singing in the rain in winter and jingle bells at Christmas. I’d sing, she’d dance lying down with her front paws moving across the floor and at ends of phrases I’d point at her and she’d bark (sing!). She loved Xmas and couldn’t wait to open presents, she’d often find her present under the tree and start to open it before you knew she was doing it. She loved to open presents and if she’d finished hers if you weren’t quick enough she’d start on yours too! I used to tell her she smelled like a teddy bear – like sunshine on a warm carpet, with soft and silky fur. She occasionally would have a bath and whilst she wasn’t keen she tolerated it – you just had to catch her before she shook herself all over the house. She liked the hairdryer though and would lie down and be pampered. Her favourite place was wherever we were, but if we had to pick one it would be on Mundesley beach. She loved the sea and immediately we got onto the sand she would be looking for you to throw her ball into the waves so that she could paddle in and fetch it and do it all over again. When she’d had enough we’d sit on the wall and get dry – and she would do impressions with the towel – particularly good was ET and Red Rum – but also John Wayne, Mohammed Ali, Dylan from magic roundabout to name a few. Then we’d just sit and listen to the sea and the gulls and watch the fisherman go out to sea. Some of her ashes will be scattered on the beach. She knew when I said “not be long” that I was going out without her, and she would go and lie down looking dejected. I’d tell her I was going to work and not be long and she would just wait for me to come back – often by the front door. Even if I went away for a few days with work we’d tell her how many sleeps it would be before I’d return – and she could count! When I said “not be long” she knew I would be coming back. When she died we asked her for a sign that she was ok, a shooting star or something. One week to the minute i.e. the following Thursday at 3am there was a total eclipse of the moon – so she’s fine wherever she is – and I know she’ll be waiting for us. God bless sweet pea, “not be long”.